amputee appreciation

[illdojo]

Originally Posted by newb

What do you call a girl with one leg..........."Peg"



What do you call a girl with no legs..........."Consuelo" [cuntswaylow]



sorry:o

:D You funny old fart.

[X¤MurderDoll¤X]

I can't begin to count the amount of nightmares I've had based on losing fingers.

[illdojo]

Originally Posted by X¤MurderDoll¤X

I can't begin to count the amount of nightmares I've had based on losing fingers.

I hear ya, Dolly....I would like to keep ALL my extremities. ;)

[newb]

This thread makes me think of a King Missile song


I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.

[background singing begins: "detachable penis" over and over]

This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.

[background voices continue to sing "detachable penis" for
a while, then out]

[Despare]

Originally Posted by newb

What do you call a girl with one leg...........

I was thinking "Mrs. McCartney", I guess I forgot they got divorced.

Originally Posted by X¤MurderDoll¤X

I can't begin to count the amount of nightmares I've had based on losing fingers.

Is that why you were trying to buy fingers way back?














Oh, and my favorite amputee movies have to be Freaks and The Crippled Masters. Personally though I hate the whole deal and for some reason even hesitate shaking somebody's hand if they're missing part of a finger. Just a psychological thing I guess.

[X¤MurderDoll¤X]

Originally Posted by Despare

Is that why you were trying to buy fingers way back?

I'll still pay good money if someone chops off one of their fingers and sends me proof yes. :)

[Angra]

Originally Posted by Despare

Oh, and my favorite amputee movies have to be Freaks and The Crippled Masters. Personally though I hate the whole deal and for some reason even hesitate shaking somebody's hand if they're missing part of a finger. Just a psychological thing I guess.

How about this one

[Despare]

Originally Posted by Angra

How about this one

I think I may have overlooked that one... is it good?

[Angra]

Originally Posted by Despare

I think I may have overlooked that one... is it good?

It's quite alright.


The accidents are brutal. ;)

[The STE]

Originally Posted by newb

This thread makes me think of a King Missile song


I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.

[background singing begins: "detachable penis" over and over]

This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.

[background voices continue to sing "detachable penis" for
a while, then out]

Awesome song.