A poem I wrote...

[wood_elf_pansy]

Give me feedback.

Death as it is.

As I lie awake thinking of what I've done
Hating myself while lying here with my hand on the gun
I put the gun to my head but still no trigger I pull
I cant kill myself people will think of me as a fool
As I soak in the pool of blood from my loves heart
I realize my life is falling apart
I think again if I should or should not
I'm now getting cold but, on the inside I'm boiling hot
He shouldn't have gone to her place
He shouldn't have lied right to my face
I put the gun back to my head after I rose
I turned and looked out the door then at my blood red toes
I pulled the trigger now lying on the floor
I looked at the ceiling then toward the door
Now I know how he felt when I let him go
My breathing is getting heavy my heart is beating more slow
As I lie awake thinking of what I've done
Hating myself while lying here with my hand on the gun.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This was written in October of 1998. I was in seventh grade.

[wood_elf_pansy]

Originally posted by trippin_the_rif
Deep.

I've got ones that are even better. I was only thirteen(I think) when I wrote that one.

[ItsAlive75]

It's amazing the level of clarity you have after shooting yourself in the head.

[wood_elf_pansy]

Originally posted by ItsAlive75
It's amazing the level of clarity you have after shooting yourself in the head.

as I said I was only thirteen when I wrote that one

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by wood_elf_pansy
as I said I was only thirteen when I wrote that one

I'm just razzin' ya. My humor is very abbrasive... ya idiot.

[wood_elf_pansy]

Originally posted by ItsAlive75
I'm just razzin' ya. My humor is very abbrasive... ya idiot.

Its cool. I'm not fretting. Just replying to what you said.

[wood_elf_pansy]

Originally posted by trippin_the_rif
Talents of the young never fail to amaze me. At least you were putting your mind to work with poems and not video games.

yeah i was never into video games, writing has always been my hobby.

[wood_elf_pansy]

She hides...

she slides the raizer across her arm
she pushes harder as she asks herself why
she cuts again and again hoping for the end
and she begins to cry
she wears long sleeves to hide the scars
to hide from what they would see
she doesnt want them all to know
she wonders what would be

she takes another shot
not wanting to think
all she knows is that
she wants another drink
shot after shot after shot
she drinks them down so fast
she cries and cries and cries
she knows her pain will last
she sobers up for a while
to hide from what they would see
she doesnt want them all to know
she wonders what would be

she smokes a little more
wanting to be more high
she keeps on smoking
she doesnt want to try
she doesnt want to live
if thats how life will be
so she keeps on smoking
until her heart is free
she puts on an act
fake smile and all
she feels light headed
and then begins to fall
she catches herself real quick
to hide from what they would see
she doesn't want them all to know
she wonders what would be

she holds the gun in her hand
she wants to be dead
she doesn't want to live her life
so she puts it to her head
she sits in the dark
listening to all the sounds
she takes out the clip
and she counts the rounds
she realizes you only have one life
she hides the gun from the rest
she decides to try oone more time
she wants to do her best
she keeps her thoughts to herself
to hide from what they would see
she doesn't want them all to know
she wonders what will be.

written on 9/5/2004 at 10:50pm

[wood_elf_pansy]

Originally posted by trippin_the_rif
Quite dark. But good.

its supposed tobe that way

[wood_elf_pansy]

What is wrong with me?

Am I deformed in some way?
Or are you just afraid of the day,
When you realize the person who is me?
When you see everything you want to be.
I am just a soul like the rest.
I have a heart beating in my chest.
I am human just like you.
The mistakes I make aren't few.
But what is it that I've done?
Do I make your life any less fun?
Or do you get off to making mine tough?
Do you think it isn't hard enough?
What can I do to make you see?
To make you see the person who is me.
I cry inside for every last one of my flaws.
But I don't think that I broke any laws.
I tried to make things better for you.
I tried to make the problems few.
I tried to talk our problems out.
Even though my mind was full of doubt.
What can I do to ease your mind?
Do you want a present of some kind?
I will give you anything that I can.
I'll do what it takes if you show me a plan.
What did I do to cause you pain?
If you tell me I wont do it again.
All I can say is I am sorry for all of your unhappiness.
If staying away is what you want then here's your bliss.