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  #21  
Old 12-31-2005, 09:16 AM
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ItsAlive75 ItsAlive75 is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by wood_elf_pansy
Actually, that poem was a metaphor for how life is. You go through life and shit happens that you don't expect then you die. It was actually kinda written to my friend. The ending is about death, kinda like at least they got to say good-bye.
OK, but my point is when you're writing a poem with a message as powerful as that, you shouldn't have to settle for awkward wording just to fit a rhyme scheme... maybe go for a free form poem.
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MISINTUPITATED- The act of removing the spine by use of fire.

DEVESTED- The removal of one's vest.

SCTUPP- To deficate on a woman after nonconsensual sex.
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  #22  
Old 12-31-2005, 09:16 AM
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Angelakillsluts Angelakillsluts is offline
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...

I don't like them. I don't have any reasons or constructive criticism either. :( Keep writing, usually this forum would rip you apart so most people must enjoy them. :)
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  #23  
Old 12-31-2005, 09:40 AM
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wood_elf_pansy wood_elf_pansy is offline
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Re: ...

Quote:
Originally posted by Angelakillsluts
I don't like them. :)
it's all good.

can't win 'em all.
__________________
Life may be hard and you may get scared,
But, that is how it is so, be prepared.
I want you to know that the world is mean,
On the other side of the fence, grass isn't always green.
Look to a friend or someone you trust,
Holding them close is kind of a must.
You'll need to be strong and not too proud,
If you are afraid, just get loud.
Stand up for what it is you believe,
If you fail, dont give up and leave.
Be yourself and don't let anyone change you,
To yourself always, and I mean always, stay true.
Follow your heart where ever it leads,
But, remember life goes on when it bleeds.
No matter what happens I will always care,
Give up on you is something I wouldn't dare.
"Everybody needs a little wood"
peace and out... ~The Wood
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  #24  
Old 12-31-2005, 09:59 AM
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Marroe Marroe is offline
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Re: Re: ...

Quote:
Originally posted by wood_elf_pansy
it's all good.

can't win 'em all.
what about some of your "happy" poems?
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  #25  
Old 12-31-2005, 10:04 AM
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Angelakillsluts Angelakillsluts is offline
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...

Something involving a pet rabbit named "bun buns" perhaps? :) lol
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  #26  
Old 12-31-2005, 10:06 AM
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wood_elf_pansy wood_elf_pansy is offline
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Re: ...

Quote:
Originally posted by Angelakillsluts
Something involving a pet rabbit named "bun buns" perhaps? :) lol
how do you know i have a bunny named commander bun buns?
__________________
Life may be hard and you may get scared,
But, that is how it is so, be prepared.
I want you to know that the world is mean,
On the other side of the fence, grass isn't always green.
Look to a friend or someone you trust,
Holding them close is kind of a must.
You'll need to be strong and not too proud,
If you are afraid, just get loud.
Stand up for what it is you believe,
If you fail, dont give up and leave.
Be yourself and don't let anyone change you,
To yourself always, and I mean always, stay true.
Follow your heart where ever it leads,
But, remember life goes on when it bleeds.
No matter what happens I will always care,
Give up on you is something I wouldn't dare.
"Everybody needs a little wood"
peace and out... ~The Wood
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  #27  
Old 12-31-2005, 10:14 AM
wood_elf_pansy's Avatar
wood_elf_pansy wood_elf_pansy is offline
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Re: Re: Re: ...

Quote:
Originally posted by Marroe
what about some of your "happy" poems?
here you go...

My Tears

I woke up in the morning and I felt you by my side,
So I wrapped my arm around you and then I cried.
Not for unhappy things or for being sad,
The tears I cried were not for anything bad.
My tears flowed down my cheeks for you and only you,
The tears I cried did not fall for anything you did or will do.
Each tear that soaked my face fell for a reason I knew not why,
It is then that I knew I had no reason to cry.
The tears fell from my eyes and yet I was not depressed.
They flowed so freely then and yet I was not repressed.
I did not know why they fell from my eyes.
I didn't understand why and I began to rise.
You rolled over and said "I love you", down fell another tear,
I guess that is all I needed, all I needed to hear.
I laid by you and held you close, so close next to me.
I realized then that the tears that fell were because I was happy.


2/18/2005 2:30a.m.

By Trishia Birkenmeier
Written for Adam C. Johnson
__________________
Life may be hard and you may get scared,
But, that is how it is so, be prepared.
I want you to know that the world is mean,
On the other side of the fence, grass isn't always green.
Look to a friend or someone you trust,
Holding them close is kind of a must.
You'll need to be strong and not too proud,
If you are afraid, just get loud.
Stand up for what it is you believe,
If you fail, dont give up and leave.
Be yourself and don't let anyone change you,
To yourself always, and I mean always, stay true.
Follow your heart where ever it leads,
But, remember life goes on when it bleeds.
No matter what happens I will always care,
Give up on you is something I wouldn't dare.
"Everybody needs a little wood"
peace and out... ~The Wood
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  #28  
Old 12-31-2005, 10:16 AM
Angelakillsluts's Avatar
Angelakillsluts Angelakillsluts is offline
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Location: Seattle
Posts: 1,818
Re: Re: ...

Quote:
Originally posted by wood_elf_pansy
how do you know i have a bunny named commander bun buns?
Because commander bun buns and my bunny were separated at birth. :eek:

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  #29  
Old 12-31-2005, 10:18 AM
wood_elf_pansy's Avatar
wood_elf_pansy wood_elf_pansy is offline
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Re: Re: Re: ...

Quote:
Originally posted by Angelakillsluts


way too freakin cute cbb has black spots. some big ones and then all kinds of tiny ones.
__________________
Life may be hard and you may get scared,
But, that is how it is so, be prepared.
I want you to know that the world is mean,
On the other side of the fence, grass isn't always green.
Look to a friend or someone you trust,
Holding them close is kind of a must.
You'll need to be strong and not too proud,
If you are afraid, just get loud.
Stand up for what it is you believe,
If you fail, dont give up and leave.
Be yourself and don't let anyone change you,
To yourself always, and I mean always, stay true.
Follow your heart where ever it leads,
But, remember life goes on when it bleeds.
No matter what happens I will always care,
Give up on you is something I wouldn't dare.
"Everybody needs a little wood"
peace and out... ~The Wood
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  #30  
Old 12-31-2005, 10:20 AM
newb's Avatar
newb newb is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2004
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Here's a happy poem


I woke up this morning
with a tee pee in my pants
The sun was shining brightly
it made me wanna dance

The little puppys were jumping
the flowers were blooming as well
Its New Years eve and beer will flow
I'm betting i'll be feeling pretty swell
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