HDC The Movie III : The one with a new director

[ferretchucker]

Now now, there's no need for that.

Next scene up in a min.

[ferretchucker]

Hmmm...Maybe, mine a faustaus' scenes could both work in this. Yes...yes...

Here comes the re-vamped first scene.


EXT: A parking lot littered with monkey parts. Massacre Man is walking away, toting a dripping ax over his shoulder. As Massacre Man walks off, Zero's disembodied head looks up, confused. It rolls around on the ground until a skeletal hand lifts it up.
Zero:AHHH! I'm out of Monkey Hell!
Camera pans out revealing that the hand belongs to a mysterious figure in dark robes.
Mysterious Figure: I took you from Monkey Hell for a reason.
Zero: But Monkey Hell is great!
Mysterious Figure: Look, I'm sorry, but this was really important.
Zero: It'd better be!
Mysterious Figure: The time has come for you to return and wreak havoc.
Zero: Wasn't I just wreaking havoc a minute ago?
Mysterious Figure: Yes. Because you are the chosen...the emissary of chaos...
Zero: That sounds even better than Monkey Hell!
Mysterious Figure: Just wait...
The figure sets down Zero's head on the ground and Zero's body reassembles.
Mysterious Figure: Excellent...it's all going according to plan.
A small run down building is shown in the middle of nowhere. The camera zooms in to show some movement under a few pieces of broken wood. The wood moves to reveal a ferret eating a severed monkey ear. A large, red monkey foot is shown stomping on the ferret.

Zero : "That's mine bitch."

Cut to a house in the city where Mothman is watching television. Show the television screen.

__V__ : So really defeating the zombies was more a case of knowing their weaknesses, in this case their book.

Interviewer : Well, it's been six months since the "Zombie-Mania" and you seem fine. Was, was it hard getting over this ordeal?

__V__ : Not really. I mean, Shit - Oh shit I said shit at three o'clock. Sorry kids.

Interviewer : Well, lets hope that's the last we'll here of them. On to the weath-

Mothman clicks the television off. He smiles as he picks up an old book.

Mothman : Honey, have you made my Cheese and leek Soup?!

A deadified Mona_Lisa shuffles out of the kitchen holding a bowl of soup.

Mothman : That's my girl. I think old __V__ will finally have that triumphant smile ripped off his face come tommorow...

INT: A med school classroom. Ferretchucker is presenting a hideous creature, half ferret, half pig to his classmates and professor.
ferretchucker: So, you see, by combining a pig and a ferret, we can solve all of society's problems.
ferretchucker's professor shakes his head in disapproval.
Professor:I don't see how. And this was clearly done with a staplegun. This isn't even a proper crazy genetic experiment.
ferretchucker: How dare you challenge me! Does your outmoded "God" tell you it's wrong to take his place?
Professor: No, your project is just lazy. You can't just staple animals to each other and call it a cure for all of society's woes!
ferretchucker: I'll show you! I'll show you all! Ha ha ha ha ha!
ferretchucker exits with his bizarre creation.
Professor: Whatever.
Opening credits roll

[ferretchucker]

Part 2

A small house in the suburbs with a bit of a run down garden is shown, with ferretchucker running into it.

Ferretchucker: Mum! They didn't like my ferrig! Wait 'til the guys on the internet here about this! Mum?

The figure turns around to reveal zero on stilts in a dress and a wig.

Zero: Hey kiddie. Mamma's got a surprise for you! I'm making waffles!

Zero shoves a waffle iron into ferretchuckers horrified face. He drops the ferrig on the floor and it runs away.

Zero: Okay then buddy. What next? I here Chicago can be pretty ni-

Cloaked figure: Silence! There are still many more obstacles to overcome. First, remove this childs head from the waffle maker thing.

Zero peels ferrets lifeless face off the scolding hot waffle iron.

Zero: Oooh, couldn't you just play tic tac toe on that face?

He points at the blank face with horrible criss cross burn marks covering it.

Cloaked Figure: Bite him.

Zero. My Pleasure CF. Have you got any maple syrup?

Zero bites the neck of Ferretchucker. Instantly a change takes place. Ferretchucker's hair falls out, his skin becomes a much paler colour (Save the burn marks) And his eyes become a glowing red. Also he has the typical fangs and pointy toungue.

Ferretchucker: Now I can have my revenge on society! Now I can have revenge on my class mates. Now I can have revenge on my teacher. Vampiric clown watch out! The ferretchucker's about!

Zero hits ferret over the hack of the head with a frying pan.

Zero: Shut the fuck up! We aint in a comic book. You don't need to make stupid speeches and you are NOT called Ferretchucker. I'm gonna call you...Waffleface.

CF: Silence both of you. I sence a presence. Someone watching us...

In a house across the street, OMCdave takes off the binoculars.

OMCdave: Let's see what's happening next door in Mrs. Blankenships house...

Trippin_the_rif: My turn!

Neverending enters the room with a shot gun and blasts their heads off.

Neverending: Bloody wankers!

[neverending]

Oh now, that's totally out of character for my character. I wouldn't be shooting anyone in the face. I'm the crazy old man who comes in after the shooting and glares at everyone and starts ranting about "Oh you have no idea the forces you've unleashed here..."

[ferretchucker]

new director. Theres always some break of character.

[massacre man]

Originally Posted by neverending

Oh now, that's totally out of character for my character. I wouldn't be shooting anyone in the face. I'm the crazy old man who comes in after the shooting and glares at everyone and starts ranting about "Oh you have no idea the forces you've unleashed here..."

Or "There's (Some sort of killer/evil force) in these here (your location at the moment with an "S" at the end"

Example: There's pissed-off nazi ghosts in these here houses?

[neverending]

Well, I think Mr. Blossom and I are holding out for more money then.

[_____V_____]

Me no likey this Uwe-Boll-ish turn in this sequel!:mad:

Everytime they change the crew for the 3rd part...it sucks.

O well...:rolleyes:

[ferretchucker]

why must you hurt me in this way?

Part 3

Back in __V__'s apartment. __V__ is typing on his computer to "The Guys"

__V__: Well, this is all a good idea but do you really think Thriller.Com needs another fan-movie? These guys are idiots.

A knock on the door. __V__ answers to find Massacre Man standing there with plenty of blood on his shirt.

Massacre Man: Bad news! Look outside!

The camera shoots to the window in a fashion fitting a computer game to reveal people running around in the city, screaming, trying to escape the horde of deadites.

__V__: Oh my god. How did this happen?!

Massacre Man: Some kid up there decided it was time for a sequel...

__V__: What?

Massacre Man: What?

__V__ looks at Massacre Man in a strange way.

Massacre Man: Well. i was just watching TV and drinking some Bud when my house was stormed by Zero, some kid who seemed to think he was terrifying and kept mentioning Ferrets and a cloaked dude. Well, I managed to convince the kid that he could be incharge. He bought it and decided to try and kill them. Well, he threw and axe at mr. cloak but zero made short work of the kid. Poor deluded guy. I could see right through his head. But anyway, in the confusion i managed to run away. Then the first place I thought of coming to was here.

Some screaming noises can be faintly heard but __V__ and Massacre Man appear to have not heard them

__V__: But how could these guys be alive. I destroyed the book and anyway, didnt horrorobsessed mention some kid with a Ferret last time?

Massacre Man: I dunno. His dad probably had a car.

__V__: Hearing Noises What's That?

Suddenly a deadite bursts through the door, knocking the two guys over.

Massacre Man: What the fu-?

Another deadite storms into the room. Massacre Man recognises this one as

Massacre Man: Posher?

The posher deadite lunges at him with great speed. Pushing him back on the floor. MM reaches for a piece of broken vase (It was knocked over earlier in the struggle.

TO BE CONTINUED...

[massacre man]

I didn't say "fuck" once in that. And I never met Posher in the script. ;)