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#341
04-12-2007, 05:37 PM
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Quote:
Wow... whatever you do, don't shower. ;)
__________________
Mortimer Brewster: No, no. I'm not a Brewster. I'm the son of a sea-cook! Ha! Ha! Chaaaaarrrge! Cab Driver: And I'm not a cab driver, I'm a coffee pot! 
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#342
04-12-2007, 06:18 PM
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Quote:
__________________
 Quote:
None of this is real
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#343
04-12-2007, 06:25 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Of course I'm out of my mind . . . It's dark and scary in there.
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#344
04-14-2007, 05:30 PM
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thats funny,
__________________
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#345
04-15-2007, 10:34 PM
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__________________
...  If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance...Baffle 'em with bullshit My Karma ran over my Dogma God WAS my co-pilot...But, we crashed in the mountains and...I had to eat him I'm suffocating in what's become of me... The rancid remains of what I used to be
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#346
04-15-2007, 10:40 PM
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Quote:
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble, or I can rent it out, when I don't need it. But now and then I go to a party, get drunk, and the next morning I can't for the life of me remember what I did with it. First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it. So I called up the place where the party was, they hadn't seen it either. I asked them to check the medicine cabinet 'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes But not this time. So I told them if it pops up to let me know. I called a few people who were at the party, but they were no help either. I was starting to get desperate. I really don't like being without my penis for too long. It makes me feel like less of a man, and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak. After a few hours of searching the house, and calling everyone I could think of, I was starting to get very depressed, so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast. Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place, where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street, I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven. Some guy was selling it. I had to buy it off him. He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen. I took it home, washed it off, and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete. People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached, but I don't know. Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass, I like having a detachable penis.
__________________
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#347
04-22-2007, 09:29 AM
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__________________
... If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance...Baffle 'em with bullshit My Karma ran over my Dogma God WAS my co-pilot...But, we crashed in the mountains and...I had to eat him I'm suffocating in what's become of me... The rancid remains of what I used to be
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#348
04-23-2007, 09:20 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Better to be silent and thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. Abraham Lincoln
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#349
04-24-2007, 06:28 AM
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yeah that is pretty funny
__________________
 I love the lines the men use to get us into bed. 'Please, I'll only put it in for a minute.' What am I, a microwave?
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#350
04-24-2007, 06:29 AM
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What do you call a women with two black eyes?
nothing you already told her twice
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