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#11
09-19-2004, 06:20 PM
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I don't know what you mean by "I think she needs a kick in the pants to leave the guy." What, exactly, does that entail? Is it something as small as telling her to leave him for you, or something as large as telling him she wants to leave him for you?
In my experience, most people don't leave a marriage because of security. They have been in it a while, have become used to it, and don't want to risk the uncertainty involved in starting over ... even if they have another person lined up. Take a tiger that has been caged up in the zoo for years. He adapts. Becomes used to it. Claims it as his home. If released into the wild, the tiger would return to the cage on his own if given the chance. That's the nature of things. So, my advice to you is to offer her security. Make room for her and her child at your place, make sure you have a job that can support the additional bills, and be kind to her. But that's it. If she feels secure enough with you, she'll come to you. If not, she won't. But don't push it. That goes against the feeling of security she's going to be looking for.
__________________
FROM GHOULIES AND GHOSTIES AND LONG-LEGGED BEASTIES AND THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT, GOOD LORD DELIVER TO US! Old Scotch Invocation -- adapted by Stingy Jack Stingy's Horror DVD Collection 
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#12
09-19-2004, 06:30 PM
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Why doesnt she have the balls to tell her husband?? Whats the reason for not telling him??....... is she scared of the concequences for herself, him of both of them, or is she scared of him or what he might do. Does she really want to leave him, or does she see a relationship with you as an escape out of the one she's already in?
I'm only asking this, because I've heard and given some advice to a few people I know personaly, in similar situations over the years, most have ended differently, but there will always be an 'injured' party. You both really wana make 100% sure that being with each other is going to be right thing, otherwise any doubts either of you have will most definitely cause you to start reconsidering your future actions, and this will cause even more grief, because If one of you can't commit 100% to the other then there's no point in attempting to wreck a marriage. All to often there's a reason behind why a woman is finding it difficult to leave a partner... you really need to find out what this reason is and why, because she may say she is 'hot' for you simply because she is looking for an escape from a situation/relationship she feels uncomfortable being in.
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#13
09-19-2004, 06:53 PM
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eeeewwwwww i wouldn't touch her wit ha ten foot pole. no way not even with the ten foot pole in my pants no sirree. i mean how could you ever trust her? once a cheater always a cheater. besides she is prolly just using you as a excuse to leavee her hubby. i dont know. if she isn't then just disregaurd everything isaid.... everyone else does
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#14
09-19-2004, 07:01 PM
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Ive been in this situation before....its never pretty on any side....ESPECIALLY when your best friend is ALSO trying to get the girl away from her loser boyfriend.....
Goodluck and i really hope she dumps the loser and gets with you....im pullin for ya man....alls fair in love and war.... but people die in both...
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#15
09-19-2004, 07:11 PM
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for what's worth i'd say C.and remember..."you can't thouch that honey without smokin' the hive."lotsa luck.
__________________
how 'bout a nice greasy pork sandwich served inna dirty ashtray? Budduskey:i am the motherfucking shore patrol,motherfucker!i am the motherfucking shore patrol!give this man a beer. "Repent, Harlequin!" said the Ticktockman. "Get stuffed!" replied the Harlequin, sneering.
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#16
09-20-2004, 03:19 AM
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thanks for all the insight. to clarify a couple things though... she is NOT cheating on her husband. as i said earlier, nothing physical has happened. about her marriage, it was shotgun wedding, she was 24 and pregnant, he was 44 and an asshole. she's now thirty and full of life and spunk, he is 50 and drinks too much, doesn't leave the couch and pays no attention to his wife except to verbally abuse her. she sticks around because of security, fear of how a divorve will affect her kid (she's got a crazy notion she might lose custody). her personality is very laid back and non-confrontational which is why i said she may need "a kick in the pants" to get her out her situation. anyway, thanks for all the advice and keep it coming.
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#17
09-20-2004, 06:37 AM
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Well I just broke up with my husband.......so I know how it feels to make the break. It is a really scary thing to do. It has to be right in her heart to do it. She probably is afraid of what her life will be like alone, and maybe is not quite sure of your comittment.
I think though that you can truely one love one person. If she really loves you she WILL leave..............she won't have a choice.
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