Random Thoughts...

[Dead Bad Things]

Hang in there Roiff!! Get out in nature, sing, sew, build, draw, what ever it is that helps ya shake them blues...either that or drinkin' top shelf tequila helps too....

Y'all think those Bfriday vids are fake?!!? No way man look around.... We are constantly bombarded with advertising pitchin' illusionary wealth and material obsession...

[Dead Bad Things]

....

[Tracy133]

My random thought of the day is that if you ask a girl out to hang out with your friends. And the friends like the girl... Why is that a bad thing??? And then the guy gets all freaked out and tells you that he doesn't want a serious relationship
I'm sorry Asshat I didn't realize that I asked you to be in a relationship in the first place? I thought we were just hanging out. I didn't ask you to marry me or to make plans to buy a freaking house or something!

[Morningriser]

I am here and thuss far I love it!

[Sculpt]

Originally Posted by Tracy133

My random thought of the day is that if you ask a girl out to hang out with your friends. And the friends like the girl... Why is that a bad thing??? And then the guy gets all freaked out and tells you that he doesn't want a serious relationship
I'm sorry Asshat I didn't realize that I asked you to be in a relationship in the first place? I thought we were just hanging out. I didn't ask you to marry me or to make plans to buy a freaking house or something!

Maybe you're just letting off stream; but in case you're looking for feedback, I think we're missing some things.

1. Why do you think his friends liked you? And what happened that make you think your BF didn't like that? (we'll just call him BF) This sounds like the source of an issue; good to examine.

2. what happened -- immediately before -- him saying he doesn't want a serious relationship? (specifically in the conversation)

It's unlikely a guy would invite you out with his friends with the intention of telling you he doesn't want a serious relationship. (If he was looking for hookup, the invite would be 1on1) I would have to assume something occurred to initiate him saying that. And I'm certainly not suggesting you "did something wrong"; but we might be able to give you some insight on the male psyche, maybe specifically in the group dynamic.

[Tracy133]

Originally Posted by Sculpt

Maybe you're just letting off stream; but in case you're looking for feedback, I think we're missing some things.

1. Why do you think his friends liked you? And what happened that make you think your BF didn't like that? (we'll just call him BF) This sounds like the source of an issue; good to examine.

2. what happened -- immediately before -- him saying he doesn't want a serious relationship? (specifically in the conversation)

It's unlikely a guy would invite you out with his friends with the intention of telling you he doesn't want a serious relationship. (If he was looking for hookup, the invite would be 1on1) I would have to assume something occurred to initiate him saying that. And I'm certainly not suggesting you "did something wrong"; but we might be able to give you some insight on the male psyche, maybe specifically in the group dynamic.

Well, he took me to hang out at his friend's house. A couple's house. And his female friend said that she was really overprotective of him because he was like a brother to her. And that he never brought girls over. At the end of the night before we left she wanted to exchange numbers so that we could all hang out on new years. So she was making plans for us. And I just said ok. I did not make any plans with her involving any of us. I also should add that he has a son. He's only like 5. And she was involving him.
I do not have kids. Not that that really matters I guess. But the fact that he does matters. So maybe he got freaked out by that.
But I never tried to push anything on him at all.

[newb]

Originally Posted by Tracy133

Well, he took me to hang out at his friend's house. A couple's house. And his female friend said that she was really overprotective of him because he was like a brother to her. And that he never brought girls over. At the end of the night before we left she wanted to exchange numbers so that we could all hang out on new years. So she was making plans for us. And I just said ok. I did not make any plans with her involving any of us. I also should add that he has a son. He's only like 5. And she was involving him.
I do not have kids. Not that that really matters I guess. But the fact that he does matters. So maybe he got freaked out by that.
But I never tried to push anything on him at all.

Sounds like a tool.....no loss

And that is recommendation from " Relationships With Newb"

No charge

[Tracy133]

I mean as far as the conversation went regarding him not wanting to be in a relationship... He was talking about how long it's been for him being with somebody. And I agreed for myself. I mean I'm really careful about those things. I do not just do random hook ups.

[Tracy133]

Originally Posted by newb

Sounds like a tool.....no loss

And that is recommendation from " Relationships With Newb"

No charge

haha. omg that's awesome

[Sculpt]

Originally Posted by Tracy133

...At the end of the night before we left she wanted to exchange numbers so that we could all hang out on new years. ...

That being the case, I assume you had told him the woman asked to make plans for New Years, and not you. There's a chance he didn't like you "appearing" to make plans for both of you without talking to him first. That's not unusual for anyone. It's the "appearance" that counts, cause that's all he has. When she asked you to come to New Years, of course, you could have said, (or may have said) "I'd like to, if BF is OK with it. I don't know what he has in mind." But I don't think it's a big issue.

Originally Posted by Tracy133

I mean as far as the conversation went regarding him not wanting to be in a relationship... He was talking about how long it's been for him being with somebody. And I agreed for myself. I mean I'm really careful about those things. I do not just do random hook ups.

OK, got ya. That being the case, I wouldn't look too far into it. I mean, really, could he mean he never wants to marry again? I doubt it. People change their minds about "getting serious" really fast.

If you needed to know, you could ask him to explain what he means by it... but, I'd suggest, the fact that he SAID it to you, it likely means he's open to dating other people (even if he doesn't act on it)... meaning, he's not centering in on you.

So, I'd recommend to you what I'd generally recommend to anyone who is not in a spoken exclusive relationship: date other people. I'm not saying tell him you're dating others. I'm saying don't talk about dating others, and really date other people. Because unless he's trying to manipulate you, he's telling you he's not "all-in" on you, which is a milder form of "not that in to you".

Not that you would, but don't respond to what he said with a competitive instinct, to "make him" all-in. Just get to know him as a friend and date other people.