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-   -   A poem I wrote... (https://www.horror.com/forum/showthread.php?t=19559)

ItsAlive75 12-31-2005 09:16 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by wood_elf_pansy
Actually, that poem was a metaphor for how life is. You go through life and shit happens that you don't expect then you die. It was actually kinda written to my friend. The ending is about death, kinda like at least they got to say good-bye.
OK, but my point is when you're writing a poem with a message as powerful as that, you shouldn't have to settle for awkward wording just to fit a rhyme scheme... maybe go for a free form poem.

Angelakillsluts 12-31-2005 09:16 AM

...
 
I don't like them. I don't have any reasons or constructive criticism either. :( Keep writing, usually this forum would rip you apart so most people must enjoy them. :)

wood_elf_pansy 12-31-2005 09:40 AM

Re: ...
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Angelakillsluts
I don't like them. :)
it's all good.

can't win 'em all.

Marroe 12-31-2005 09:59 AM

Re: Re: ...
 
Quote:

Originally posted by wood_elf_pansy
it's all good.

can't win 'em all.

what about some of your "happy" poems?

Angelakillsluts 12-31-2005 10:04 AM

...
 
Something involving a pet rabbit named "bun buns" perhaps? :) lol

wood_elf_pansy 12-31-2005 10:06 AM

Re: ...
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Angelakillsluts
Something involving a pet rabbit named "bun buns" perhaps? :) lol
how do you know i have a bunny named commander bun buns?

wood_elf_pansy 12-31-2005 10:14 AM

Re: Re: Re: ...
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Marroe
what about some of your "happy" poems?
here you go...

My Tears

I woke up in the morning and I felt you by my side,
So I wrapped my arm around you and then I cried.
Not for unhappy things or for being sad,
The tears I cried were not for anything bad.
My tears flowed down my cheeks for you and only you,
The tears I cried did not fall for anything you did or will do.
Each tear that soaked my face fell for a reason I knew not why,
It is then that I knew I had no reason to cry.
The tears fell from my eyes and yet I was not depressed.
They flowed so freely then and yet I was not repressed.
I did not know why they fell from my eyes.
I didn't understand why and I began to rise.
You rolled over and said "I love you", down fell another tear,
I guess that is all I needed, all I needed to hear.
I laid by you and held you close, so close next to me.
I realized then that the tears that fell were because I was happy.


2/18/2005 2:30a.m.

By Trishia Birkenmeier
Written for Adam C. Johnson

Angelakillsluts 12-31-2005 10:16 AM

Re: Re: ...
 
Quote:

Originally posted by wood_elf_pansy
how do you know i have a bunny named commander bun buns?
Because commander bun buns and my bunny were separated at birth. :eek:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...KS/bunbuns.jpg

wood_elf_pansy 12-31-2005 10:18 AM

Re: Re: Re: ...
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Angelakillsluts


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...KS/bunbuns.jpg

way too freakin cute cbb has black spots. some big ones and then all kinds of tiny ones.

newb 12-31-2005 10:20 AM

Here's a happy poem


I woke up this morning
with a tee pee in my pants
The sun was shining brightly
it made me wanna dance

The little puppys were jumping
the flowers were blooming as well
Its New Years eve and beer will flow
I'm betting i'll be feeling pretty swell


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