If you decide to tune out after the first dismal, dead, and dull 30 minutes of Ghost Machine, you going AWOL would be completely understandable. But you might be doing yourself a slight disservice. (Slight, very slight.)
Here's the rundown: Transformers hottie Rachel Taylor plays an impossibly beautiful Special Forces trainee named Jess (conveniently unisex, as if that would help her blend in). Jess has a waterfall of long, flowing blonde locks, perfectly clump-free mascara, and flawless skin that looks as soft as a champagne satin glove. She is smart, sexy and has a sense of humor, too. When we first encounter Jess she is taking part in some experimental military tests, using a battlefield simulator run by technicians and computer-game enthusiasts Tom (Sean Faris) and Vic (Luke Ford).
Standing by as Jess falters during the mock battle is the scowling woman-hater drill sergeant, Taggert (Richard Dormer), who later confronts Jess in the showers (yeah… lots of surprises in this movie). But before things get wet and wild, the story is mighty dry thanks to cardboard cutout characters rounded out by naïve recruits Bragg (Joshua Dallas) and Iain (Sam Corry).
To be honest, I really can't remember who's who and which Screenwriting 101 personality quirks were assigned to what actor, but basically the boys "borrow" the top-secret combat simulator for a weekend of unauthorized gaming, spliff smoking, and pixilated porno. Naturally, they set the system up inside an abandoned prison which was used for the torture of post-9/11 prisoners, and at about the half-hour mark they discover that an evil presence has uploaded itself into their software. Yes, a deadly new player known as Prisoner K (Hatla Williams) has crashed the party. Meanwhile back at base, Jess is fighting with Taggert and feeling generally left out. Before long, she joins the guys at the prison and hence joins the fray.
I think I've made it plain that I found Ghost Machine to be as stock and uninspired as its title, but about a half an hour in, there are some cool death scenes. I was encouraged, thinking maybe the film would rally and keep up a good pace. Unfortunately, that was not the case.
If you have seen Doom, Stay Alive, Death Row, Gamer, etc., etc., ad nauseam, you have seen Ghost Machine. There are some cringe-inducing moments of violence, I'll give it that. And Rachel Taylor makes the movie watchable for awhile, but even she can't save it from the murky camera work, hackneyed storyline, and gawdawful CGI.
I was hoping the additional release material might shed some light on… something… but they too were very paint-by-numbers. There's a long, static talking-head style interview with scribe Sven Hughes, who says the script "wrote itself" — that, I do believe. But when he goes on to talk about The God Particle as if he discovered this data and was the first to think to put it in a movie, I finally signed off.
DVD EXTRAS ON GHOST MACHINE
- The Making of Ghost Machine
- Interview with Writer Sven Hughes
- Theatrical Trailer
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Reviewed by Staci Layne Wilson