Review of "Red Water" (2004) DVD

All heck breaks loose in Red Water, a made-for-TV and new to DVD scary movie, when a fresh water sharks heads for the bayous of Louisiana in search of some Cajun style man-ka-bobs

Red Water starts off promisingly enough with a few big and bloody biting scenes but as it turns out, the camera-shy CGI shark is hardly in the movie enough to make a ripple. Instead, ripples of laughter are reserved for the cheesy B cast, which includes Lou Diamond Phillips, Kristy Swanson (the original "Buffy: The Vampire Slayer"), and yes, gulp... Coolio having a worse than usual bad hair day. He plays a playa-rappa-gansta named -- surprise! -- Ice.

The so-contrived-it's-funny dialogue centers mostly around the substandard subplot, which is (I think) about gangsters looking for lost treasure in the bayou and their clash with environmentalists and greedy corporate types, set against the rekindling romance of an estranged husband and wife. Got it? As the shark kept his distance, I began to think he must have an eating disorder. Then I myself felt like throwing up when the whole crew, in their darkest hour, decided to take a detour and attend an all night party where they drank moonshine, danced around a campfire, and listened to an off-key Zydeco muzak band.

Suffering from amateurish direction and nonexistent pacing, Red Water's problems are compounded by home-movie style cinematography, CG effects that even I could top on my home computer, and head-scratcher dialogue ("I hate that double-crossing blood clot!"). Although somewhat entertaining in its appalling badness, the carnage really is only limited to the careers of those involved.

I love the idea of shark movies, but unfortunately there aren't very many out there circling the waters that are any good. Jaws and Deep Blue Sea are about it, as far as I'm concerned. Hardly a fantastic voyage, Red Water is nothing but chum.

Review by Staci Layne Wilson for Horror.com