Stan Helsing DVD Blu-ray Review (DVD)
Stan Helsing DVD Blu-ray Review (DVD)
No funny-bone left unturned
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Handsome, flippant Stan Helsing (Steve Howey) is just your stock slacker working in a small town as video store clerk. He knows his movie trivia, he's got recommendations at the ready for his regulars, and he can belt out a song at the local karaoke bar. But he's left of center because he just happens to have an inborn talent for monster banishment — it's his destiny, you see, but he doesn't know it yet.
Helsing's awakening to his true calling in life comes much to the dismay of parodied undead 80s slasher film characters like Pinhead, Chucky, Jason, Freddy, Leatherface, and Michael Myers. Each of their names and appearances have been changed ever-so-slightly, presumably for legal reasons and definitely for comedic effect… for instance, the Hellraiser's head-gear has been swapped out for colorful darts and thumbtacks with post-it notes and other assorted pointy inserts.
The story basically follows four friends — played by Howey, SNL's Kenan Thompson, Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning's Diora Baird, and Screw Cupid's Desi Lydic — on their way to a Halloween costume gala. Of course, before the partying can commence a detour must be made: Stan's got to hand-deliver several porno DVDs to a reclusive costumer of the video store. Little does he know (as his destiny hasn't been revealed yet) that evil will stop at nothing to stop him from surviving the trip to Stormy Night Estates. On the road, some crazy things happen… Such as meeting Leslie Nielsen, Zorianna Kit and The Bride of Dracula (Ildiko Ferenczi). Fallow scatological humor ensues… ad nauseam (emphasis on the nausea).
Stan Helsing is written and directed by Bo Zenga, the executive producer of Scary Movie. When you look at the box art of the DVD, you can definitely see the influence and you might be expecting a vulgar spoof along the lines of the Austin Powers franchise or Not Another Teen Movie… but it seems as though not a scintilla of thought went into plot here. It's just a string of random raunch that's so disparate and disjointed, it's a nearly impossible film to review.
Rife with tasteless jokes (really… they had plenty of time to cut out the Michael Jackson pedophilia scene) and elaborate set ups with so-called payoffs that are not even remotely funny, the only decent things about Stan Helsing are the good looks of the leading actor, the goofy sexiness of his blonde bombshell sidekicks, Thompson's comedic timing, and the bizarre send-ups of the 80s horror icons.
There's the DVD and Blu-ray versions available next week, plus an exclusive theatrical engagement in New York, Los Angeles and other select cities through Halloween. The Stan Helsing Blu-ray includes behind-the-scenes coverage, a commentary track with the cast/filmmakers, featurettes and extended, alternate and deleted scenes.
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Reviewed by Staci Layne Wilson