Review Roundup - Zombies, Angels & Sinners
Review Roundup - Zombies, Angels & Sinners
A look at an unholy trinity of entertainment on DVD, the Web, and TV
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Much as we gripe about remakes, J-horror, and the PG-13 craze of late, this week — at least this weekend! — we're hard-pressed to complain about lack of originality and choice. Watchmen, a multi-layered, politically-driven, revenged fueled action superhero feature (with plenty of blood-letting), is opening in theaters everywhere today. It's destined to quash the competition, and deservedly so… but what's out there for the couch potatoes and web-surfers who'd just as soon as stay home and be entertained? Glad you asked…
It would be nearly impossible to find three more disparate choices for your viewing pleasure. There is at least one thing in here somebody will like. We've got a creaky 40s classic making the rounds on the MGMHD Channel; a brand-spanking, kick-ass web-series on Sony's Crackle; and a 2009 haunted house movie with a Message (yes, from Him) making its DVD debut from Lionsgate home entertainment.
Revenge of the Zombies (1943)
As you're channel-surfing this weekend, you're more than likely to find a showing of Revenge of the Zombies, a charming yet dated (read: talky, slow) shamble into a cache of zombies sequestered in the plantations of Louisiana, under the creative control of mad scientist Dr. Van Altermann (John Carradine). Never mind the bayous; these undead are being manufactured for none other than Der Fuehrer himself!
But it takes awhile to get to that. First, the doctor's beautifully dressed, knockout pretty, and totally dead wife Lila (Veda Ann Borg) must be the Patient Zero… when a black servant, shuffling and gibbering (but no more so than just about any offensive racial stereotype in a Tyler Perry comedy), discovers that she is, indeed, not dead, the doctor feigns surprise. So now, he's got to keep his secret safe by any murderous means while trying to recruit more unwilling soldiers for the Nazi party (or the dead man's party, as the case may be).
Most of the movie takes place in parlors, drawing rooms, and beneath the manufactured moons and weeping willow trees on the MGM soundstage, but overall it's properly atmospheric — the cinematography and lighting, costumes, makeup (not that kind… these are pre-Romero style zombies!), and sets — and 40s fab. Some of the acting falters, but the lanky, laconic Carradine never does.
While Revenge of the Zombies is hardly up to par with classics like White Zombie or I Walked With A Zombie, it's still an enjoyable timewaster capsule from days gone by.
House (2009)
Here is another Scriptures-driven thriller from director Robby Henson, based on a book by Ted Dekker and starring horror icon Bill Moseley (the first was Thr3e; Dekker also did a movie we reviewed here called The Visitation). When it comes to this House I suggest you ready the wrecking ball not for the message, but its delivery.
Henson has showed promise with some of his other movies (especially The Badge, starring Billy Bob Thornton, which made its debut on HBO a few years back), but they seem to be going progressively downhill. Perhaps the most egregious sin House commits is in it poor craftsmanship — aside from the three villains (Moseley and a couple of his Devil's Rejects crew, Lew Temple and Leslie Easterbrook), the acting is entirely atrocious (Michael Madsen is always hit-or-miss depending on who's directing him, and the four actors who play our "heroes" are way below par). Worse are the extremely cheap-looking digital cinematography and ramshackle sets.
The moral and horror clichés are quite hard to sit through, but in case you are interested, here is the lowdown: A bickering couple on their way to marriage counseling gets lost in the woods after their car breaks down, but they soon see what they think to be a safe haven, The Wayside Inn. And in they go. There they encounter another young couple, also having relationship woes and auto trouble. Soon enough the four realize their problems are nothing compared to those of the afflicted inn-keepers, each of whom is loonier than the other. Oh, and then a little ghost-girl shows up and the real fun begins. Depending upon how you define "fun" — with the girl's mysterious appearance comes tests and trials, and memories of heretofore suppressed sins.
On the façade House is a standard haunted halls thriller, and on that level — plus the fact it's gore-free — it's a decent flick for young-uns or the easily-scared. Moseley, Easterbrook and Temple are good baddies, and it's always a pleasure to see them onscreen, even when they're hamming it up. But if you're looking for something with more edge, read on.
Angel of Death (2009)
Here we have the least horror-driven show of the lot, but it takes flight — thanks to director Paul Etheridge (HellBent), screenwriter Ed Brubaker (also the author of the "Angel of Death" graphic novel) and stars Zoe Bell (Grindhouse), Lucy Lawless (Boogeyman) and Doug Jones (Hellboy 2) — faster and with more fury than our other two picks in this roundup.
And who'da thunk it? It's a daily Web-series, having begun airing on March 2, and continuing through the 13th. (Later on, it'll be available in its entirety on DVD.) Although the serial was made with the Internet in mind, it's got a very lush, dense and beautiful cinematic look and feel to it. It opens with a quick bang! as Bell's crack character, Eve, bursts into a room and starts kicking ass without taking names. The high-stakes professional assassin winds up with a huge knife right through the top of her skull, but that barely phases her as she takes a quick detour to a discreet Mob doctor's office, and is back at fighting baddies before the blood is dry.
The story, still in progress, is put together in approximately 8-minute installments, each one revealing just a little more of the brutal web of lies Eve must face — but seeing through them becomes a little easier as her head wound has opened up another dimension of vision, allowing Eve to see who's really got her best interests at heart.
Clearly, the filmmakers had the viewers' best interests at heart while casting and shooting Angel of Death. I've always been impressed by Etheridge, Lawless, Bell, and Jones… but I never once would have thought of putting them together. And it's magical! My only complaint is the current format: Personally, I don't really enjoy watching movies on my computer, especially eked out over time, so I will look forward to seeing it again from start-to-finish on a big-screen HD TV.
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Reviewed by Staci Layne Wilson