|
|
||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
||||||||||||||||||
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|||||||||||||
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||
|
#31
07-13-2004, 12:11 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, we should be thinking about getting more use out of the ones we already have.
|
|
#32
07-13-2004, 12:12 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmm, boy.
|
|
#33
07-13-2004, 12:12 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.
|
|
#34
07-13-2004, 12:13 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.
|
|
#35
07-13-2004, 12:13 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.
|
|
#36
07-13-2004, 12:14 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. and since he is so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real quick and give it to him.
|
|
#37
07-13-2004, 12:15 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what is I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
|
|
#38
07-13-2004, 12:20 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.
|
|
#39
07-13-2004, 12:22 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someones neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.
|
|
#40
07-13-2004, 12:24 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals.
|
 |
|
|
