Your Bestest Jokes!

[ChronoGrl]

Originally Posted by Abominus

Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

The wheelchair


Two nuns are riding their bikes home from church. One nun turns to the other and says "I've never come this way before", the other nun answers "It's the cobblestones."



Whats the main cause of pedophelia

Sexy children

bwahahahahahahahahaaaaaa... I think I like this one.






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What's white and shoots across the sky?








The Coming of the Lord.




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How do you make a dead baby float?








Two scoops of ice cream and a dead baby.




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What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies?








You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitch fork.

[Posher778]

Ohhh dead baby jokes.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?


.... Depends on how fast you throw em'!

[Posher778]

Originally Posted by newb

hahahah....thats funny

It's funny because it's true!

[AmericanManiac]

Long but very cute.

Why parents
drink


The
boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one
day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the
employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. '
Hello
?


Is
your daddy home?' he asked.

Yes

whispered the small voice.
May I talk with him?'

The child whispered,

No .'

Surprised
and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, 'Is your Mommy there?'

Yes


May
I talk with her?' Again the small voice whispered,

No


Hoping
there was somebody with whom he could leave a m essage, the boss asked, 'Is
anybody else there?'


Yes

whispered th e child, '
a
policeman '.

Wondering
what a cop would be doing at his employ ee's home, the boss asked, 'May I speak
with the policeman?'


No,
he's busy ',
whispered the child.

Busy doing
what?'


Talking
to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman ,'
came the whispered answer.

Growing
more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through t he earpiece on
the phone, the boss asked, 'What is that noise?'



A
helicopter '
answered the whispering voice.

'What is going on there?' demanded the
boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered,

The
search team just landed a helicopter


Alarmed,
concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, 'What are they searching for?'


Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle...

ME

[ferretchucker]

Originally Posted by ChronoGrl

How do you make a dead baby float?








Two scoops of ice cream and a dead baby.

OMG! I actually did laugh out loud at that one!

[dewaholic]

What's the difference between love & herpes?




Herpes lasts forever.

[ferretchucker]

a young boy is standing on a cliff crying. A catholic priest comes over to him and says "What is wrong my child?" The boy says "My mummy and daddy just fell off the cliff. The priest replies, whilst unbuttoning his cassock "It's just not your lucky day is it?"






I can't remember if I heard this joke on this forum or not, but oh well, it's one of my favourites.