Something fun to think about

[Haunted]

All right, if this has been done before...well at least it will be interesting to see what the new people think.

What is your most interesting story about various evagelists or other door to door religious pests coming to your house and asking if you've been saved? If you've never had the displeasure, then tell us how you'd react. Be creative.

For instance, when it happened to me, I was in high school, living in the 'burbs. They came to my door, and I told them that we were Hindu and slammed the door in their face.

I've heard of others invinting them in for a nice "chat."

If you belong to a religion that goes to people's houses and you're offended by this thread...Well, unfortunately, your practices are the equivalent of telemarketing for god. It ain't cool.

[zwoti]

i have a smile on my face while i close the door, they get the idea. while i don't wish to be rude, i'm not about to talk to them.

[Egekrusher]

I opened the door in a womans bathing suit bottoms once when some Jehovahs Witnesses came to the door. I looked as seductively as possible at the man and said "Want to COME inside", with a very strong emphasis on "COME'. He actually ran.

[Chainsaw Guy]

Originally posted by Haunted
All right, if this has been done before...well at least it will be interesting to see what the new people think.

What is your most interesting story about various evagelists or other door to door religious pests coming to your house and asking if you've been saved? If you've never had the displeasure, then tell us how you'd react. Be creative.

For instance, when it happened to me, I was in high school, living in the 'burbs. They came to my door, and I told them that we were Hindu and slammed the door in their face.

I've heard of others invinting them in for a nice "chat."

If you belong to a religion that goes to people's houses and you're offended by this thread...Well, unfortunately, your practices are the equivalent of telemarketing for god. It ain't cool.

Uh...........Duh?:confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:

[ShankS]

Originally posted by Egekrusher
I opened the door in a womans bathing suit bottoms once when some Jehovahs Witnesses came to the door. I looked as seductively as possible at the man and said "Want to COME inside", with a very strong emphasis on "COME'. He actually ran.

hahaa rofl :D

I never bother opening the door, If i see two suspicious looking poeple holding briefcases throught the frosted glass.... I know it's these people cos delivery guys and other postal people never work in pairs or more, unless I've got some moving stuff for me.

[meetthecreeper]

Was working in the front yard one beautiful summer day, these 2 older ladies are walking up the road coming to my place, my first thought was that they had a breakdown or something because no one ever comes down our road without a specific purpose.

Well the one of the ladies asked me if I had accepted Christ as my savior, and I told her no that I hadnt, I said that I believe in most of the things that Christ had said as far as morality went but I didnt believe him to be my savior.

Well she hands me a copy of the Watchtower (if memory serves) and I looked it over and I said that I would like to show her something. I went inside and grabbed a book by Scott Cunningham and handed it to her and asked if she would like to read it. She declined. I told her very nicely that I feel very strongly in my beliefs as I am sure that she does, but I would never force them down her throat.

I also asked her and the other lady if they felt comfortable coming down here by themselves where no one is around. they just kind of gave me a funny look and told me that God watches over them. I told her that the Gods are watching over me 2.

At this point they had left but I later found the literature in the mailbox.


I thought of doing some psycho satanic screaming at them or something of that nature but I thought better of it which really isnt like me at all. I guess I didnt want them to come away with the impression that they already had. I mean I am not shy about my beliefs if you ask I will tell you. I wear a Pentagram around my neck but I usually keep it concealed, funny cos it fell out one time when I was in a convience store and the guy gave me my change and said "Blessed Be" to me. I was a little amused by the whole thing because he didnt seem the type but then again neither do I.

Some body shut me up sometimes I get a little long winded.

[orangestar]

I cant be rude to peoples faces, I wish I could.

At a time when I wasnt so set in my (non) beliefs, I would just let them talk to me, nodding my head and such. None have come along here for a while, but if they did I think I would be honest and say that I dont believe in a god of any kind.

[Stingy Jack]

I agree with ShankS. I never answer the door when it's "them people". However, I have had an interesting experience with a gentleman of certain evangelical tendencies.

I was working at the gas station, and the owner of the Bible book store from the mall across the way always came in the store. This particular instance happened around Christmas time when the superintendant of the school system forbade teachers to teach "The Christmas Story" as if it were truth. Suffice it to say, this really pissed off Bible book store guy -- I'll call him "Glen" for simplicity -- and he decided to go around spreading "the word" to everyone he saw.

He came into the gas station one evening after closing his store, and started in on his "Do you know Jesus?" spiel. Here is the conversation, as I remember it:

Me: "Hey Glen. How are ya?"

Glen: "Not too good, buddy. Have you read the paper?"

"Yeah, I've read it. You really told that school board a bunch of crap." (He was quoted in the paper from a meeting he attended with the school board about the issue. He said something like: "I, for one, love Jesus! And I want our kids to love Jesus, too!")

"What do you mean? Don't you love Jesus?"

"Not particularly."

"Well ... what do you believe?"

"If it's reasonable and can backed up with much evidence, then I will probably be inclined to believe it."

"So ... where do you think we go when we die?"

"Besides the ground, you mean?"

"Yes. Where does your soul go?"

"The 'soul' is one of things that is not backed up with much evidence."

"You know, Hell is a terrible place."

"So I've heard."

"It is much more terrible than you can imagine. It is complete and utter separation from God. You are alone. Utterly alone. Nothing around you for eternity."

"That actually sounds quite pleasant. I read a view of Hell in Joyce's Portrait of the Artist. His view is quite different than that. In it, you are buried beneath a pile of decaying bodies, all screaming endlessly. You can't move, you can't breathe, and you can't hear anything above the screams."

(He looks at me, stunned)

Glen: "Well, whatever. You don't want that to happen, do you?"

"No, I don't. Which is partly why I don't believe it will."

"It will, unless you ask Jesus into your heart to forgive your sins."

"How do you know that?"

"The Scripture tells us."

"I have a lot of books that say different things. How do you know the Scripture is right?"

"Because it is the Holy Word of God! Those other books ... Buddhism, Islam, all that ... They didn't have a Messiah that rose from the dead. How can they say their beliefs are true?"

"Well, a man dying and staying dead seems pretty close to the truth to me."

"You know, I think I was sent here tonight to save you. I really do. Do you mind if I get you some reading material?"

"Be my guest."

"I'll be right back. They were written by scientists. I think you will find them interesting" He left to return to his store and brought me two books that defended the Christian faith. I read the first paragraph of each and the credentials of the author of each.

Me: "Okay, this guy says that basing your beliefs in Christianity is not using 'blind faith', but instead is using faith based on evidence. That's bullshit. Faith, by definition, is belief without evidence or reasoning. In fact, the term 'blind faith' is a redundant one. And neither one of these guys are scientists. They're preachers. They say they use scientific reasoning, but they are twisting their logic to suit their ends."

Glen: "You're not going to believe unless you have faith, you know."

"You mean, I have to believe in order to believe? Thanks a lot. I'll keep that in mind."

(Glen starts to get really angry now): "You know, it's people like you that are corrupting this nation's freedom of religion. You know that? You take God out of our schools, and out of public place, because he offends YOU. What about the rest of us!"

"Freedom of religion? What about Jewish parents who send their kids to public schools. Don't they have the freedom to keep Christianity from saturating their children's lives day after day?"

"NO! Because the Jews are EVIL!" (and here he started hammering his fist down on the counter) "If it is not of Christ, then it is pure EVIL! Aren't you against EVIL?"

"Yeah sure. I'm against evil. Which is why I'm going to have to ask you to leave the store."

"I really hope you find God one day, man. I really do."

"And I hope you get away from Him. He's made you kind of crazy."

And with that, he left. I never saw him again for another year. He boycotted the store, and actually called my boss telling her she needs to fire me. He wouldn't have godless people like me working for him! Good thing my boss understood the discrimination laws, though.

[bwind22]

All hail the king of the long post!













I like to fuck with them when they show up at my door, but nothing so funny that it sticks out in my memory. I haven't had any by for a couple years now.

[Plaguewind]

Originally posted by Haunted
If you've never had the displeasure, then tell us how you'd react.

Displeasure? Are you kidding, young lady? Some of the most funny parts of my life were the times in which I was stopped in a street by the members of the Internation Church of Christ... It used to happen quite often, and I could hear and tell many stories... It was funny most of the time. The only problem was that their views on everything are shaped by their faith... Once I ended up talking for a kinda long while with one of them, and he told me some movie was really great... And I caught myself thinking "I won't see it, no way, it must have something to do with his views on religion and stuff"...

Oh, je divague... LoL... Sorry.