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#21
10-07-2009, 08:24 PM
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Done!
...............................
__________________
Lee Widener, Author Website  Cartoon Artwork, Underground Art, Other Weird Stuff 
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#22
10-08-2009, 07:07 AM
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Thanks for ordering!
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Horror and Bizarro novelist and editor
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#23
10-09-2009, 01:47 PM
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Just bumping this to remind anyone who might be interested that I stop selling these preorders and signed copies on Monday. I think a lot of you would really like Jimmy Plush, Teddy Bear Detective. (Especially Zero and crabapple). It's weird, crass, sexually deviant and full of splatstick. Archelon Ranch will also appeal to a lot of who like Donnie Darko, David Cronenberg, David Lynch and William Burroughs. These three new books are weirder and gorier than ever and I think many of you at HDC can dig it.
__________________
Horror and Bizarro novelist and editor
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#24
10-11-2009, 02:03 PM
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Preorders close tomorrow night. To add some incentive, the first person to get a Limited Edition Jimmy Plush preorder gets a free copy of Archelon Ranch. To add more incentive, here's an excerpt from the teddy bear detective's violent, madcap adventures:
So I checked out Muffinhead Howard's on the docks. I was a bear hellbent on finding his girl and this was where my shifty pseudochinese archnemesis had sent me. It was about what I expected, blackjack games, crap games, poor lighting, a guy in a cougar suit taking wagers on a wrestling match between two dwarves and a monitor lizard. As I was putting twenty on the lizard, the man behind the bar caught sight of me. It should have been hard to tell, him being the aptly named proprietor of Muffinhead Howard's and therefore having a muffin for a head (unless two of those blueberries happened to be his eyes)but the shotgun the way he stroked his shotgun like it was his manhood and Veronica Lake had just walked in to dry off her angora sweater was kind of a giveaway. I'd have to tread lightly here...who the hell am I kidding? No, I wouldn't. I scanned the room for Bulgy O' Toole and the Ritz Brothers. Siamese twins, one dead, one a vaudevillian with a penchant for lime green suits and a guy with eyes the size of baseballs didn't take me long to pinpoint. It didn't take Bulgy long to pinpoint me either. With those eyes, why would it? "Don't you know you're unwelcome here?" he tried to splash his drink on me, but was a poor judge of distance and missed me by a couple inches. "Come on, if I only went where I was welcome, I'd be cooped up in my office all week and what fun would that be?" "That would suit us just fine," said Spanky Ritz, the putrescent half of the team. He didn't stink half as bad as his brother's ventriloquism. I jumped on their table, took aim and shot Muffinhead Howard before he could cock his shotgun. I didn't like the idea of my guts inside of four different pillows, thank you very much. There were crumbs and blueberry ink everywhere and the blackjack game stopped for a whole ten seconds. Bulgy laughed nervously. "You think that scares me, Plush?" "It scares me," said Spanky Ritz. His brother slapped him. "Shut up, this is serious!" Spanky blew a surprisingly convincing raspberry at his living sibling. "You know, dad never loved you!" "You shut up!" Growing tired of sibling rivalry, I reunited the act with my custom teddy bear .45, which I then fired at the ceiling to get the bar's attention. Bulgy vomited on himself. Then sat up and tried to act tough again. "I'm not scared, Plush! I'm not telling you nothing!" I ignored him. "Anybody here eating spaghetti?" I yelled. A nervous little man brought me a plate, heaping with sauce and meatballs. Bulgy laughed. Nervously. The only way a guy being interrogated like this could laugh. "Trying to bribe me with food? It won't work." I picked up a fork off the table, jammed it into one of Bulgy's big fat eyeballs and yanked hard. It was not a pretty sight, but luckily for Bulgy he only caught it from the left. I took the fork with Bulgy's fat right eye on it and twirled it around in the spaghetti. I pointed my gun at Bulgy's face as I moved the fork toward his mouth. "Eat up, have a nice juicy meatball." Realizing he wasn't ever going to get the eye back in and a moment of degrading and nauseating himself again was better than being dead, he agreed and began enjoying the worst mouthful of spaghetti he'd ever eaten. I waited until he was finished before gestutring toward his left eye with the fork. "Unless you want seconds, you're gonna talk. I wanna know why the cops broke the deal with Halperin, I wanna know what's under that giant black cloth and I sure as hell wanna know where the hell they took my girl. You'd better talk fast. That empty eye socket's really disgusting... You want it. The regular preorder is only ten bucks. The cost of a movie ticket. The Limited Edition preorder which comes signed and numbered with an origin story, a chapter of Murderland 3 sent to your emial and a chance to win a Jimmy Plush teddy bear hand sewn with love by my girlfriend who is really goddamn good at sewing things and for the first one to do it, a copy of Archelon Ranch. You've got until tomorrow night, people.
__________________
Horror and Bizarro novelist and editor
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#25
10-11-2009, 03:15 PM
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CONGRATULATIONS, DOC!!!
My finances are COMPLETELY depleted at the moment, but hopefully I will be able to afford these in the New Year (and you know I'm not just BSing you). I'll let you know as soon as I pick them up. Been meaning to rebuy Murderland Part I anyway; I gave my copy to a friend of mine. :D Congratulations regardless - can't wait to pick them up!!
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#26
10-17-2009, 12:15 PM
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Picked up Murderland II & Archelon Ranch from the post office this morning. They delivered a note saying they had arrived but the postie forgot to write down where we could collect them from! Stiil they're here now.
Cheers, Doc.
__________________
  Battle Royalty, 2009 @Wolf_Scousemac
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#27
10-17-2009, 12:23 PM
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Glad they arrived so fast! I sent them out this Tuesday because my box of Life During Wartimes didn't come until last Saturday.
Also, there's some new reviews of Murderland part 1 up for those that might be on the fence about getting into the series: Fatally Yours: http://www.fatally-yours.com/horror-...-garrett-cook/ and Withersin: http://www.withersin.com/review_murderland.htm Also, there's three Archelon Ranch reviews up on the Amazon page: http://www.amazon.com/Archelon-Ranch...5811218&sr=1-1
__________________
Horror and Bizarro novelist and editor Last edited by Doc Faustus; 10-17-2009 at 12:27 PM.
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#28
06-29-2011, 12:53 PM
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The esteemed Doc has been mysteriously silent about his latest offering here at HDC.
I'm half way through his new book, Jimmy Plush, Teddy Bear Detective, and let me tell you, it's the best thing he's written! Witty, exciting, engrossing- a darkly funny twist on Noir fiction that I'm sure many here would enjoy. The price is a STEAL! I know Doc has a lot of fans here, so let's show our love- and get a darn good read at the same time! http://www.amazon.com/Jimmy-Plush-Te...9380790&sr=1-1
__________________
Lee Widener, Author Website Cartoon Artwork, Underground Art, Other Weird Stuff
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