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#31
07-13-2004, 01:11 PM
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Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, we should be thinking about getting more use out of the ones we already have.
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#32
07-13-2004, 01:12 PM
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When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmm, boy.
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#33
07-13-2004, 01:12 PM
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Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.
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#34
07-13-2004, 01:13 PM
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When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.
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#35
07-13-2004, 01:13 PM
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If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.
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#36
07-13-2004, 01:14 PM
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I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. and since he is so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real quick and give it to him.
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#37
07-13-2004, 01:15 PM
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Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what is I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
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#38
07-13-2004, 01:20 PM
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If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.
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#39
07-13-2004, 01:22 PM
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Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someones neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.
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#40
07-13-2004, 01:24 PM
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I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals.
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