the Scary Squirrels

[filmmaker2]

Can you handle this??? It's a little more...hard-core...than typical horror. This is a real bone-chilling fear. This'll keep your ass up at night.

It's difficult for some people to believe that Squirrels are trying to take over the world. But they are. All the proof is here...

http://www.scarysquirrel.org/page1.html

You see, squirrels are worse than rats because they have learned how to be cute. And that's the problem. Because they are bigger than rats, industrial strength if you will, and they live in trees, which makes it pretty easy for them to leap onto people.

[Sam The Egg]

I already know about squirrels. Your shitty theory is way off.
You see, Squirrels aren't real-type animals. They were genetically created and bred by the government in conjunction with the oil companies.
"But, Sam, that doesn't make sense!"
Go fuck yourself, imaginary theoretical quote person. They were bred for one reason; acorns. See, acorns can be processed into a cheaper and more efficient fuel source. But they don't want us to know about this or else we'd figure out how to do it ourselves and we wouldn't need them. Imagine, people making cheap fuels that can get hundreds of miles per gallon in their basements. The oil companies would be ruined. So, what does one do? Create squirrels. Think they're gathering those acorns for the winter? Nope. Bringing them to secret government-designated drop zones so that Squirrel Squads can pick them up and deliver them to the companies that process them to make fuels that they can use for gasoline for cars. They're acting like it's regular oil-type gasoline so they can continue to jack up the prices, but it's acorn-based gasoline. It's inefficient because they're processing it wrong on purpose. They don't care, it's cheap to make and the acorns are free.

[filmmaker2]

Wow.

So, uh......um......what sort of coffee do you drink?

[evil_blonde]

Squirrels are gay.

Next it will be squirrel pron. :rolleyes:

[Fluff the Ho]

watch out for squirrels. their fleas can carry bubonic plague (seriously)

R.

[filmmaker2]

I've heard about those dangerous fleas. I've never touched a squirrel. But they are so damn cute, you know? And they bark like little dogs when they get territorial--they sit up in a tree getting all riled up and twitchy, and then they kinda aim their nose at you and make that "Bark! Bark! Bark!" sound. Does anyone know if any other rodents bark like that? Rats never bark, as far as I know.

I saw a HUGE rat here is Los Angeles. A couple of years ago. This thing was as big as a small cat, and it was dark brown. It was eating the cat food out of a cat food bowl, and all the cats in the area were afraid of it. It wasn't afraid of people. I didn't even think about messing with it. It looked like it knew how to handle itself, if you know what I mean.

[MichaelMyers]

Originally posted by evil_blonde
Squirrels are gay.

Next it will be squirrel pron. :rolleyes:

Or porn.

[Fluff the Ho]

Originally posted by filmmaker2
I've heard about those dangerous fleas. I've never touched a squirrel. But they are so damn cute, you know?

definitely. theyre tails look kinda gross up close though, cuz the tail is so skinny but the hairs are so sparse. hard to explain. but ive worked with some up close and theyre fuckinc ute lil buggers

but the fleas are bad ass tho. like when we have em, we put a towel in the box or whatever. afterwards, rather than washing everything, we double bag em, spray em with disenfectant then throw em away... theyre serious about that shit

B.

[filmmaker2]

I see you have some experience with the little ratties!

And that is what they are. That woofy tail they have is a scam--it is a RAT TAIL in disguise. They are pulling a fast one on all of us.

[filmmaker2]

Now, these little guys here, they have the right idea.