Go Back   Horror.com Forums - Talk about horror. > Horror.com Lobby > Horror.com General Forum
Register FAQ Community Calendar

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 05-29-2004, 12:31 PM
Vampenguin's Avatar
Vampenguin Vampenguin is offline
Evil Dead
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: A Dark Place South Of Hell
Posts: 2,152
Lol

Hreard any good jokes latly?

If these offend andone, I apologize. Thay also have nothing to do with horror

A high raniking politician was visitig a hospital. He was taking a tour, and they walked past a room where a guy was jacking off. "What is he doing?" asked the shocked politician,who couldnt believe the hospital would allow such behavior. The nurse replied calmly, "He has a disease that makes him need to get rid of sperm every 10 minutes, or he will die.". The politician was satified with the answer, and the tour continued. Later, they past a room where a nurse was giving head to a patient. Once againg the politician asked what was going on, and the nurse calmly repied "Same disease, Better health plan."

Whats worse, 100 dead babies in a dumpster, or one dead baby in 100 dumpsters.

What's the difference between a Ferarri and a box of dead babies? I dont have a Ferarri in my garage.

Once a blonde went to the library to get a book. A few days later, she returns and says to librarian at the counter, "This book was very boring. It had too many characters and too many numbers, so i would like to return it."
The librarian says to the other librarian, "So here is the person who took our phone book!"

Hope you liked them!! Feel free to post your own jokes here!
__________________
Death is but a door. Time is but a window.

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." – Dr. Seuss

"Someone called actors 'sculptors in snow.' Very apt. In the end, it's all nothing." – Vincent Price

The Oldest and Stongest Emotion of Man is Fear- H.P Lovecraft


Six bottles went down the drain
One hour's a waste of time
I'd ask if you feel the same
Still pushin that chance to try
Your breath in this cool room chill
Long hair that blows side to side
You speak and make time stand still
And each time you walk right on by
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 05-29-2004, 12:56 PM
massacre man's Avatar
massacre man massacre man is offline
Get ahold of yourself.
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: South County, Maryland.
Posts: 10,044
Send a message via AIM to massacre man
not to be racist of anything but

an american,a mexican,a french person,and a jamaican are on a sinking ship they decide they have to lose weight on the boat so the french person through a bunch of tea off the side everyone yelled "why did u do that" the french man said "dont worry there is plenty in my country" the jamaican throws pot off the side they said "what did u do that for" he said "dont worry we have plenty of that in my country" the american through the mexican off the side "why did u do that" dont worry theres plenty of that in my country"
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 05-29-2004, 03:37 PM
bloodrayne's Avatar
bloodrayne bloodrayne is offline
Umbra Asylum

 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: I'm like smoke...I get in
Posts: 18,931
Send a message via Yahoo to bloodrayne
Here's one that's a little more MY style...Some of you RPG fans will recognize it...


The little boy and the serial killer walk into the woods at night...The little boy is holding his hand and he looks up into the serial killer's face...Shivering from cold and fright, he says "Please mister...I am so scared in these deep, dark woods, I can't see a thing...I'm cold and hungry and lost and I really want my mommy...Please mister...I'm really, REALLY SCARED..." and the little boy is crying profusely, so the serial killer looks down at him and says "Shutup and stop whining...How the hell do you think I feel?? I have to walk back out of these deep, dark, scary woods...ALL BY MYSELF!!!"...


Now, wasn't that funny...
__________________
...
If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance...Baffle 'em with bullshit

My Karma ran over my Dogma

God WAS my co-pilot...But, we crashed in the mountains and...I had to eat him

I'm suffocating in what's become of me...
The rancid remains of what I used to be
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 05-29-2004, 03:41 PM
fluffho's Avatar
fluffho fluffho is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Jay's cornhole
Posts: 3,170
Send a message via AIM to fluffho Send a message via Yahoo to fluffho
i have another racial type of joke

a french dude, mexican and italian are trying to get into the US. why these racesi dunno. anyway, they spot some patrol agents and are like 'oh shit'

so they see some potato sacks and hop into them

the agents look at the sacks say 'hmm i dont remeber these being here. maybe we should check inside.'

so the french guy goes 'meowww meoww' and the agent goes 'oh ok its just a cat'

the italian goes 'ruff ruf ruff' and the agent goes 'oh ok just a dog'

then the mexican goes 'potatooooo potatoooo'

.. one of my mamas jokes. lol. funnier when she says it i guess its the accent.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 05-29-2004, 03:49 PM
last bad move's Avatar
last bad move last bad move is offline
a people person
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: michigan
Posts: 2,218
Quote:
Originally posted by bloodrayne
Here's one that's a little more MY style...Some of you RPG fans will recognize it...


The little boy and the serial killer walk into the woods at night...The little boy is holding his hand and he looks up into the serial killer's face...Shivering from cold and fright, he says "Please mister...I am so scared in these deep, dark woods, I can't see a thing...I'm cold and hungry and lost and I really want my mommy...Please mister...I'm really, REALLY SCARED..." and the little boy is crying profusely, so the serial killer looks down at him and says "Shutup and stop whining...How the hell do you think I feel?? I have to walk back out of these deep, dark, scary woods...ALL BY MYSELF!!!"...


Now, wasn't that funny...
i like that one have you ever heard the dead babies jokes those are some sick jokes
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 05-29-2004, 03:55 PM
bloodrayne's Avatar
bloodrayne bloodrayne is offline
Umbra Asylum

 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: I'm like smoke...I get in
Posts: 18,931
Send a message via Yahoo to bloodrayne
Quote:
Originally posted by last bad move
i like that one have you ever heard the dead babies jokes those are some sick jokes
Actually, we had nearly an entire thread of Dead Baby jokes at one point...So, yeah...I heard 'em:)
__________________
...
If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance...Baffle 'em with bullshit

My Karma ran over my Dogma

God WAS my co-pilot...But, we crashed in the mountains and...I had to eat him

I'm suffocating in what's become of me...
The rancid remains of what I used to be
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 05-29-2004, 03:56 PM
last bad move's Avatar
last bad move last bad move is offline
a people person
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: michigan
Posts: 2,218
Quote:
Originally posted by bloodrayne
Actually, we had nearly an entire thread of Dead Baby jokes at one point...So, yeah...I heard 'em:)
there the kinda jokes that you dont know if its ok to laff or not
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 05-29-2004, 04:11 PM
bloodrayne's Avatar
bloodrayne bloodrayne is offline
Umbra Asylum

 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: I'm like smoke...I get in
Posts: 18,931
Send a message via Yahoo to bloodrayne
Quote:
Originally posted by last bad move
there the kinda jokes that you dont know if its ok to laff or not
Yeah...but, cringing and shivering are always good, too:eek: :D
__________________
...
If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance...Baffle 'em with bullshit

My Karma ran over my Dogma

God WAS my co-pilot...But, we crashed in the mountains and...I had to eat him

I'm suffocating in what's become of me...
The rancid remains of what I used to be
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 05-29-2004, 04:18 PM
last bad move's Avatar
last bad move last bad move is offline
a people person
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: michigan
Posts: 2,218
Quote:
Originally posted by bloodrayne
Yeah...but, cringing and shivering are always good, too:eek: :D
true im trying to think of some good jokes but all i can think of is why did the chicken cross the road. just cant rember any
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 05-29-2004, 08:01 PM
Sam The Egg's Avatar
Sam The Egg Sam The Egg is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: The U.K.
Posts: 5,711
Nerdy joke:
There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 09:29 AM.