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#1
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Lol
Hreard any good jokes latly?
If these offend andone, I apologize. Thay also have nothing to do with horror A high raniking politician was visitig a hospital. He was taking a tour, and they walked past a room where a guy was jacking off. "What is he doing?" asked the shocked politician,who couldnt believe the hospital would allow such behavior. The nurse replied calmly, "He has a disease that makes him need to get rid of sperm every 10 minutes, or he will die.". The politician was satified with the answer, and the tour continued. Later, they past a room where a nurse was giving head to a patient. Once againg the politician asked what was going on, and the nurse calmly repied "Same disease, Better health plan." Whats worse, 100 dead babies in a dumpster, or one dead baby in 100 dumpsters. What's the difference between a Ferarri and a box of dead babies? I dont have a Ferarri in my garage. Once a blonde went to the library to get a book. A few days later, she returns and says to librarian at the counter, "This book was very boring. It had too many characters and too many numbers, so i would like to return it." The librarian says to the other librarian, "So here is the person who took our phone book!" Hope you liked them!! Feel free to post your own jokes here!
__________________
Death is but a door. Time is but a window. "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." – Dr. Seuss "Someone called actors 'sculptors in snow.' Very apt. In the end, it's all nothing." – Vincent Price The Oldest and Stongest Emotion of Man is Fear- H.P Lovecraft Six bottles went down the drain One hour's a waste of time I'd ask if you feel the same Still pushin that chance to try Your breath in this cool room chill Long hair that blows side to side You speak and make time stand still And each time you walk right on by |
#2
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not to be racist of anything but
an american,a mexican,a french person,and a jamaican are on a sinking ship they decide they have to lose weight on the boat so the french person through a bunch of tea off the side everyone yelled "why did u do that" the french man said "dont worry there is plenty in my country" the jamaican throws pot off the side they said "what did u do that for" he said "dont worry we have plenty of that in my country" the american through the mexican off the side "why did u do that" dont worry theres plenty of that in my country" |
#3
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Here's one that's a little more MY style...Some of you RPG fans will recognize it...
The little boy and the serial killer walk into the woods at night...The little boy is holding his hand and he looks up into the serial killer's face...Shivering from cold and fright, he says "Please mister...I am so scared in these deep, dark woods, I can't see a thing...I'm cold and hungry and lost and I really want my mommy...Please mister...I'm really, REALLY SCARED..." and the little boy is crying profusely, so the serial killer looks down at him and says "Shutup and stop whining...How the hell do you think I feel?? I have to walk back out of these deep, dark, scary woods...ALL BY MYSELF!!!"... Now, wasn't that funny...
__________________
... ![]() If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance...Baffle 'em with bullshit My Karma ran over my Dogma God WAS my co-pilot...But, we crashed in the mountains and...I had to eat him I'm suffocating in what's become of me... The rancid remains of what I used to be |
#4
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i have another racial type of joke
a french dude, mexican and italian are trying to get into the US. why these racesi dunno. anyway, they spot some patrol agents and are like 'oh shit' so they see some potato sacks and hop into them the agents look at the sacks say 'hmm i dont remeber these being here. maybe we should check inside.' so the french guy goes 'meowww meoww' and the agent goes 'oh ok its just a cat' the italian goes 'ruff ruf ruff' and the agent goes 'oh ok just a dog' then the mexican goes 'potatooooo potatoooo' .. one of my mamas jokes. lol. funnier when she says it i guess its the accent. |
#5
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#6
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Quote:
__________________
... ![]() If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance...Baffle 'em with bullshit My Karma ran over my Dogma God WAS my co-pilot...But, we crashed in the mountains and...I had to eat him I'm suffocating in what's become of me... The rancid remains of what I used to be |
#7
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#8
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Quote:
__________________
... ![]() If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance...Baffle 'em with bullshit My Karma ran over my Dogma God WAS my co-pilot...But, we crashed in the mountains and...I had to eat him I'm suffocating in what's become of me... The rancid remains of what I used to be |
#9
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#10
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Nerdy joke:
There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't. |
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