Quote:
Originally Posted by Kandarian Demon
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I'm going to sound like such a cynic right now, but in recent years I have come to the conclusion that most relationships are based on superficial values anyway. At least I really don't think that one gender is better than the other in that respect.
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(Please pardon me if anyone perceives this as a tangent)
I don't doubt that. Still, I suppose it depends on what you consider superficial. It may be men and women have different ideas on what is superficial.
I extraordinarily respect people who seek out a spouse with no regard to how sexually attracted they are to the other's appearance. I admit I'm not going to court (date to marry) someone I'm not sexually attracted to. I'm not going to assume I can overcome my "sexual repulsion" of them in a marriage relationship. I don't think it would be fair to them. And even if they didn't want sexual contact, I still would. I realize a spouses appearance can change, but I think the root of sexual attraction would still be there.
I should note, sexual attraction would certainly not be my only consideration for dating or marrying someone.
Is sexual attraction superficial?
I think most would say that's the most superficial item there is; probably because appearance is often equated with "surface". I think it's superficial to a friendship, but not to a marriage.
Just for fun, an online dictionary defines superficial as:
1. Of, affecting, or being on or near the surface: a superficial wound.
2. Concerned with or comprehending only what is apparent or obvious; shallow.
3. Apparent rather than actual or substantial: a superficial resemblance.
4. Trivial; insignificant: made only a few superficial changes in the manuscript.
Considering my understanding and plan for marriage, referencing the 4th definition, sexual attraction wouldn't be insignificant to me, and thus wouldn't be superficial.
Many say a higher portion of women do not consider sexual attraction to their potential spouse as an important consideration. But I wonder how many of those same women would equally not care if their potential spouse had no sexual attraction to them?