[cheebacheeba]

I was bullied at times in primary/grade school, and a fair bit of the first two years of high school...a little less in my third as I had a growth spurt but there was always those few that were bigger, older than me.
I dealt with it by actually saying to myself I want to be able to hurt these people - not usually my style but I guess I'd put up with it for a while and it effected me. I took up some muay thai boxing classes and they put me through the paces...they were pretty rough, made me essentially change my body, learn to deal with pain, exhausted me, but after a few months I became stronger...so in conjunction with my growth spurt, I had this going and less people were presenting themselves as a problem to me.
I never used it, I try not to be agressive...until some one of these people at school that were still at it pushed me a few times when I was lining up for my lunch, same old name calling shit going on while his friends laughed, he was either one or two years above me, what you might call a "jock". Anyways, I put up with it for a bit as it didn't seem serious, although this guy had hit me in the past I had learned a few things since then, one of them being to make SURE you have a reason. My head got pushed from behind really hard, maybe punched, I don't know, but my head smashed into the corner of the counter in front of me, and started free bleeding almost immediately. The front of my forehead had a fairly large strip of skin taken off, even he looked a bit shocked at what happened, then he started laughing, him and his friends...I can't even really remember how it went down, but I just went at the guy and kept at him while he was on the floor...his friends left as there was a teacher approaching, I ended up pushing them down too. Either way, long story short I just went on almost auto pilot and the guy ended up with a fair bit of damage. He must've hit me a few times too as I was bleeding and bruised so yeah, this is one time when anger just took me over and I've tried to never let it happen again, because as good as it felt, it fucked up my schooling for half a year, and I actually felt sorry for the asshole, believe it or not.
I haven't had anything but the occasional drunk think about having a go at me since...that hasn't eventuated in quite some time though...never really does.