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Old 12-08-2008, 12:20 AM
Phalanx Phalanx is offline
Evil Dead
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,677
Quote:
And I know that many of you sad-sacks would rather sit and sulk than have a good time. Of course the holidays will suck for you, you're making them suck. Good luck with that.
I think you might be jumping the gun in saying that.
See, I don't hate religion...I just don't subscribe to any presently...
I don't hate Christmas, but I hate what it currently entails to a lot of people.
I don't hate any family members...there are just some of those that I'd rather avoid so as to leave issues behind and not have them bought up to continue any given cycle.
I don't hate holidays, but I hate crowds.
Don't much like flashing lights.
But my holiday season, so to speak, does not suck - I would say that it might suck a little moreso if I was hanging with folks that there had to be some kind've pretense going on (eg - the church thing) but then I don't live to make others happy, and would feel a bit more like I was privately insulting those that are in fact, part of the religion as a "serious" thing.

That said, I agree with you to the point that anyone not having a particularly "good time" should whine about it, just do something else, or sleep through it. Enjoy it like any other day/s off. Don't let it matter to you.

Re - Hatred over past incidents.
Nobody can really go ahead and say whether or not a person is justified in hating someone...in some cases there's been no kind of resolution, in some cases really, REALLY bad, deceitful and abusive things have been done.
People don't hate easily, but I would say that if the situation warrants it to the person in question, it's more of a reactionary thing, maybe not one someone can control - often these kinds of acts will completely change the way you see a person, revealing the kind of properties that you do in fact dislike and would rather not be exposed to...for a parent.family member to have done anything like that, the feeling can be all the more.
If you despise something someone did/said to you, and feel as though you'd be compromising your own value system to continue communication...it makes sence not to.
Some things can be forgiven, some can not. Simple.
Sometimes time will "heal", sometimes actions on the part of the anyone involved can find resolution or redemption...but again, sometimes not.
If you haven't been in the situation when you literally can't or won't bring yourself to forgive and forget, then you can't really comment.
Because your opinion, your personal tolerance levels, your truth, your way of dealing with things isn't necessarily right for everyone, just right for you.
I'm an easygoing guy, but I'm not about to be anyones fool, and I would never think that poorly of my own judgement to back down on something like this...because it wouldn't "make me a better person", it would make me something I'm not.
If you say you've been there, and you DID forgive and forget...well, you just haven't really been there after all, your perspective/life may have allowed you to move on...some would rather avoid any further incident or pain.

It's not like a person that "hates" someone is going around letting it rule their life...it's not as though it takes a great deal of effort like some seem to assume...people don't just walk around full of hate with all those around them, that's absolutely wrong. You can find happiness with the "bad parts" erased, hell, maybe some people feel like they'd just be pretending any other way.

Said enough on all that I think...just to point out that even though you may have a difference of opinion, it doesn't invalidate the other - what's "necessary" is completely subjective case by case.

Christmas itself - I view as a time when a lot of folks have time off, and you're all able to spend a few hours together with those that matter.
A chance to do some relaxing cooking, and get some drinkage goin' on.
Usually go with a BBQ myself.
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