Quote:
Originally Posted by Roderick Usher
I can pick out a kid raised by a nanny instead of an at-home parent easily. The ones without a full-time stay-at-home parent are the behavior cases... the ones who act out, talk back and have poor manners.
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thats hasnt been my experience at all. thank god - because a very few percentage of kids have stay at home parents - and only a few percentage of kids act as you describe (i'm not saying they are the same kids)
you're making an assumption that all parents are effective - they arent. the rude kids i see are in most part the kids who have clueless parents - stay home or not. parents who dont carry through with their disciplinarian threats ... etc ... parents who find it easier to give in to a kid rather than go through the pain and stress of actually teaching a kid how to behave and why.
bad kids = bad parents ... (with the exception of kids who are simply born wired wrong)
i agree that far too many dads dont show enough interest in their kids ...
leave it for 'the wife'
especially the ones caught up in the corporate ladder climbing
one thing i really noticed is that kids who were home with a parent - instead of at a daycare at an early age - have a harder time fitting in and socializing with other kids when they hit public school ... and there's a long period of seperation anxiety. thay are used to 1:1 attention - and it's quite the shock to the system when they never get it again. (for 8 hours a day)
here's the deal - there's a couple of different reasons why people stay at home with their kids :
1) the decide as Rod did that it's the best possible upbringing for their kids - they do it for the kids - they do things for the kids - they make it a meaningful experience for both of them
2) its more economical - one of the parents realizes that if their pay is lower - it becomes far to costly to continue working ...paying a daycar, the commute, etc .. it's cheaper to stay at home. (or .. the other spouses income is large enough that it just makes sense)
3) the person who stays at home is unskilled, has no desire to work in the 1st place - never has. some of these folks still make good parents - many dont for various unfortunate reasons.
there's another thing to take into consideration ... in my case - my wife and i had a house and 2 cars before having a child. we both have good jobs - make decent money ... you get in a lifestyle thats pretty hard to leave - for the sake of 4 years at home. i know it's all about sacrifices ... but the effects of suddenly cutting you income in half, moving into an apartment, losing your space in the job market (because depending on what you do in todays work environment - losing 4 years means your job could have left you far behind - completely unskilled to continue)
the combination of those things could mean the sacrifice is a hell of a lot deeper than just an economical one. some people have meaningful jobs ...
its about balance - and having the proper parenting skills/ instincts in the 1st place.
staying at home or not doesnt make you a good or bad parent or result in a good or bad kid. it depends on what kind of parent/s the kids have.