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Ok
I think it is a story with great bones.
(I have everything Lovecraft wrote and love the atmosphere)
Your premise is solid, your description is bang on. Perhaps you need to put a little flesh on the bones. Don't delete - just add is what I'm saying. A little backstory would round it out perfectly. Where did he meet her? Was he suspicious? Was there a local legend attached to these disapearances?
Maybe humanize the main character with a phobia? a memory? . . . something. These are only suggestions.
Those who can - do ... those who can't - teach. :rolleyes: jk
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Of course I'm out of my mind . . . It's dark and scary in there.
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