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Old 08-20-2007, 01:18 PM
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EXT: A parking lot littered with monkey parts. Massacre Man is walking away, toting a dripping ax over his shoulder. As Massacre Man walks off, Zero's disembodied head looks up, confused. It rolls around on the ground until a skeletal hand lifts it up.
Zero:AHHH! I'm out of Monkey Hell!
Camera pans out revealing that the hand belongs to a mysterious figure in dark robes.
Mysterious Figure: I took you from Monkey Hell for a reason.
Zero: But Monkey Hell is great!
Mysterious Figure: Look, I'm sorry, but this was really important.
Zero: It'd better be!
Mysterious Figure: The time has come for you to return and wreak havoc.
Zero: Wasn't I just wreaking havoc a minute ago?
Mysterious Figure: Yes. Because you are the chosen...the emissary of chaos...
Zero: That sounds even better than Monkey Hell!
Mysterious Figure: Just wait...
The figure sets down Zero's head on the ground and Zero's body reassembles.
Mysterious Figure: Excellent...it's all going according to plan.
INT: A med school classroom. Ferretchucker is presenting a hideous creature, half ferret, half pig to his classmates and professor.
ferretchucker: So, you see, by combining a pig and a ferret, we can solve all of society's problems.
ferretchucker's professor shakes his head in disapproval.
Professor:I don't see how. And this was clearly done with a staplegun. This isn't even a proper crazy genetic experiment.
ferretchucker: How dare you challenge me! Does your outmoded "God" tell you it's wrong to take his place?
Professor: No, your project is just lazy. You can't just staple animals to each other and call it a cure for all of society's woes!
ferretchucker: I'll show you! I'll show you all! Ha ha ha ha ha!
ferretchucker exits with his bizarre creation.
Professor: Whatever.
Opening credits roll
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