[VampiricClown]

Something I've shared with few...
Alright, so as only a few of you know of this (and those of you will probably think I'm demented after spilling this), I'm bringing this out, mostly because it's really bugging me...

I have been having nightmares every night since I was 13. Some dreams have good parts in them, but the majority of most of them are really gruesome and horrific. I have blown my own brains out in one of my dreams. Needless to say, that was quite unpleasant.

Most of my dreams are end of the world, apocalypse type of thing. But last nights was the worst, most horrid thing I've ever seen...And that's saying a lot. The bad thing about this one...I can actually see this happening, and most of the dreams I've had have come true at some point. These "nightmares" aren't too far removed from our own reality....A lot of the places I see when I sleep, I see in person at some point or another. For instance, I went to sleep one night and saw my girlfriend (at that time), being raped by her father. I get up after that dream and get online at 3:30 in the morning, my girlfriend was on, and she had been raped about an hour before I got on...By her father no less. This bothers me because if that one, and numerous others I remember have come true, these I've had as of late can't be that far behind....

Last nights, like I said, has been the most disturbing so far.

*****WARNING*****

(The following portion is not for weak stomached people or ones who are easily disturbed. I don't want to even sleep again after seeing this.)

I was with my father, my mother, my wife, and one of my close friends. The world has already been through another world war, the sky is dark even during the day because of all the smoke and gasses that had been released while bombing each country. I go into a store similar to a Wal-Mart to find my uncle, and my mom wonders off to get supplies so we can keep moving on until we find somewhere else to live. I wondered off with my friend into this back room...And what I saw makes me sick to my stomach even thinking about it....They had this girl strapped to a table, completely naked...She looked asian....She was bleeding, and bruised. She was crying so much...Then I see a video camera...filming everything they do to her. They have buckets and plastic boxes all over the place. The slowly saw off one of her fet and let the blood drain into the bucket. Then the other foot...They then took a knife and sliced her mouth open on both sides all the way to her ears...By this time, she's mostly purple and pale from loss of blood, but she's very much alive and in pain. I am unable to stop it because I am in a different room and am in shock. Then they hook her through the back with chains and slice her off at the waist. All over her guts start falling into a bucket and her blood is going everywhere. She looks up at me with a tear in her eye, and coughs up one last bit of blood as her body goes limp and her gaze lowers to the ground as she dies....The people in the room print the box art for the DVD and put it out on the shelf for sale. The worlds new form of entertainment...Snuff films. I get pissed off as usual when someone hurts a female and I go into the store and grab a shotgun, two pistols and some ammo. I give my wife a kiss goodbye in case something were to happen to me, and I go in the direction of the room where I saw this happen. I pass a store with a guy with his stomach ripped open and his guts spilling out onto the floor and he's jacking off...

About this time, I wake up. I went back to sleep, and I picked up after we found my uncle and left. We're in this jeep with a green map radar in the the middle of the night, haven't slept for 3 days, and are heading to a military outpost. My wife and mom are already there, safe. I'm with my friend, dad, uncle, and a family friend. We're all packing ammo, riding on this jeep and seeing fireworks going off. And I learn that this was some sort of job. I'm guessing we were keeping the area clean of intruders. And we come over the hill and I'm on the phone with my wife, as I see these two guys shoving this large object down this one guys throat.

I woke up again, and stayed awake.

But this is becoming extremely disturbing...Every damn night I see these type visions. This was by far the worst. The runner up would be the one where I killed myself though because I saw these people eating this poor woman that had been captured....

And my girlfriends always wonder why I worry so much about them....Why I stay awake....How can I sleep, if all I see is destroyed, demented and broken things. I also know if someones cheating on me, because of my dreams...I can find out anything I want in my dreams....It's just going through the process to find what I'm looking for.

The sad thing...I know it's a dream, I know I'm asleep....