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An old lady is walking around in a supermarket calling out, "Crisco, Crisssssssco!"
Soon a store clerk approaches and says, "Lady, the Crisco is in Aisle D."
The old lady replies, "Oh, I'm not looking for the cooking stuff. I'm calling my husband.
The clerk is astonished. "Your husband's name is Crisco?"
The old lady answers, "Oh no, no, no. I only call him that when we're out in public."
"I see," said the clerk. "What do you call him at home?"
"Lard ass."
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If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance...Baffle 'em with bullshit
My Karma ran over my Dogma
God WAS my co-pilot...But, we crashed in the mountains and...I had to eat him
I'm suffocating in what's become of me...
The rancid remains of what I used to be
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