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This is a REALLY interesting topic to me, because it addresses the problem of THINGS WE HATE THAT WE ALLOW OTHER PEOPLE TO DO TO US. It's your stuff, you choose to lend it out and then you fret when it doesn't come back or when it comes back smashed, etc.
Now in the wondrous spectrum of human relationships, no relationship is really tonally pure. Well, okay, maybe some are. But in most, there's a bit of anger or resentment mixed in with the friendship. Or jealousy mixed in with the love. In one instance I know of, there's this fellow who has an anger problem, lashes out in little ways or big ways, makes verbal stabs, tries to get away with little annoying actions and then enjoys the suffering he causes. This is the media-sucking vampire whore who has tried for years to borrow my DVDs, though he knows damn well I don't like to lend them out. BASICALLY, this is a decent person here; but some weird stuff happened to him when he was a kid, and he kinda has an anger problem.
A few months ago I started putting my foot down, gently but firmly. If he wants to borrow something, I immediately say "No, no, no, you should watch it here," and into the machine it goes. We fast-forward scan through the disc, see the good parts of the movie, and then he's "watched" it. The disc never needs to leave the house!
I know he doesn't like it when I assert control over my own shit. But I feel better knowing he didn't abuse the friendship for purposes of causing emotional distress so he could get off on the power/control of it.
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