Quote:
1) Stay Alive. Besides like the fact that alot of the facts about countess Elizabeth Bathory were off, It was a pretty decent movie.
2) The Hills Have Eyes. It was hillarious. I'm almost positive it wasn't supposed to be, but it was. "
|
Wow, now this is hillarious itself, and personally, I don't think it was meant to be...
You thought Stay Alive was good? You thought the only thing off was the facts about Elizabeth Bathory? I'm pretty sure you're off.
Let us examine the details. First, it's PG13/14, so they have to cover up anything remotely gorey, so that leaves a lot of pointless killings they can't really show, except for a rendered character and pershaps a split-second frame or two.
Second, we are to be terrified by rendered characters. The dead girls, come on. Even in the real world, they appear 3D. I would be terrified of that, personally... >_>
Third, the big "suspense" trick is the controller's virbation. Hearing it is suppose to scare us, make us wonder whats going to happen next. But it fails horribly. HORRIBLY. It's quite funny, actually.
Fourth, they can't even execute what pretty much all teen flicks do. Give us at least one pteey jump. I don't jump usually, but atleast one person in my theatre does. Did anyone in this film? No. No screams, no jumps, no "oh jesus!". NOTHING. It was bad editing, because what was meant to be a fast movement for us to jump upon viewing was played out slow, so you could basically assume what was going to happen.
Fifth, the fact Elizabeth Bathory came back in a video game is simply retarded. I'm sorry, but it is. How could anyone think that even remotely scary, or even probable. Hell, if I was a ghost, I wouldn't come back in a PS2 game, even if I could up my pixel count.
Sixth, the whole gamer subculture was played out all wrong. It's like the writer didn't even know any gamers. Sure, it was done right in some aspects, but there was little knowledge.
Seventh... why the hell was the whole city empty? I only saw a few extras, and the cast. It was deserted, quiet, lifeless. BORING. It was the characters running around alone, place to place, without encountering anyone but 3D-characters.
Eighth. The male lead was suspected, expecially after the guy had been run over by the horse-and-carriage. Because of know how probable that is. I sure have a carriage to just dispose of at will. Throw it in the back of my pocket and whip it out whenever I need someone dead. Yeah.
Ninth, many pointless scenes that have no relevence to the storyline. Te copy dies in the game, in some old chair. A) He played the game for about 15-30s and got past the gravyard that quickly? HELLO. B) He didn't die IRL after that, did I miss something?
Tenth. They tried to give character developement, but who were they kidding. Oooh, flashbacks of a kid being afraid of fire, only to have to face his fears in the final moment. Wow. That's just amazing writing. AMAZING.
Eleventh. (post fucked up, there was point here.)
Twelfth. The film quality sucked ass, major ass. The dark scenes were grainy, washed out, and the rest were fine. It's like they used about a dozen types of film and tried to pass it off as a whole. The quality ranged from low-budget to decent. Who knows what went wrong here.
Thirteenth. What else could go wrong?