[Haunted]

I actually think you're making sense; it's hard to make good sense out of a situation that makes no sense what so ever. You can't really rationalize it for a couple of reasons. The first reason is that nobody can ever really rationalize why someone would take their own life and leave behind a horde of friends and family with the guilt wondering what they could have done, what went wrong. The other reason is that you didn't know the person very well. You didn't know what was going on in his life.

It's okay to be confused and disturbed by this. It's very disturbing and very confusing. Trying to come to terms with it is very difficult even though you didn't know the guy. Eventually, though, I think you'll find a way to deal with these feelings. You'll find a light in the dark that will not only help you to deal with this experience, but will give you invaluable insight into yourself and others.

Stay strong, Return. Take your time with this. It will take some time, and you'll probably always remember this time, and it will sting.

Maybe you should go to the funeral even if you didn't know this person. He was a classmate. He was a peer. It might also help you find, not peace, but a small sense of closure. Plus, you can be there for other people that you do know that might need you.

If it helps you to sort of talk about this and make some sense of your feelings, keep this thread alive with your thoughts. People here might be able to shed some light. I know that I will try as a person who not only delt with a suicide, but almost did it herself, once upon a time (Believe me when I say that I KNOW BETTER now).