[Yellow Jacket]

Just Friends


The Lowdown:
Chris Brander (Ryan Reynolds, Waiting...) was the fat-ass geek in High School. But, his best friend was miss popular Jamie Palamino (Amy Smart, The Butterfly Effect). Obviously, he had a crush on her, but she thinks they're "just friends" (hence the title). 10 years pass, and now fat-ass is fit and slim and hot as ever. He returns to his hometown to try to hook up with Jamie once and for all. But, things get in teh way, such as Dusty (Chris Klein, The Long Weekend) and ditzy, idiotic (and no, I'm not talking about Jessica Simpson) pop star Samantha James (Anna Faris, Scary Movie 3).



Review:
Ah, the holidays. Snow on the ground, christmas cheer in the air... wait a minute, this is March. This isn't December, the month of giving and getting (and spiked egg nog). But, since Just Friends was released in theaters in december, and since they're not going to wait that dreaded year to release it on DVD (thank God), we get a belated christmas present. So, put this month aside, and pretend it's the holidays (because you probably forgot what month it is anyway), and kick back, drink your egg nog, and masturbate your dick raw as I review the holiday romance comedy, Just Friends.
Now, I've already went over the lowdown, so I guess it's criticizing time! First off, to like this kind of movie, you must be a Ryan Reynolds fan. And I am. In my humble (and horny) opinion, Ryan Reynolds is the epiphemy of comedy right now. He's basically your average comedian/actor, doing his job and making us laugh (and pissing off movie critics like Ebert & Roeper daily). What makes him so special? His retardedness! Wait, that's Johnny Knoxville. What makes Reynolds funny is, that he is funny! There's not much to it. Hot damn, it's not brain surgery (unless your Ebert or Roeper, who are still trying to figure out why they get a bulge in their pants every time they see Reynolds).
The comedy in Just Friends is a hit and miss. At times, you're laughing your ass off at the wildy entertaining Reynolds as he takes dick shot after dick shot (and no, I'm not referring to cum shots, you perverts). But, the comedy misses when everything is repeated time and time again. We've got your point, Reynolds and his brother smack each other. It was only funny the first two times (and when he broke into the bathroom). Now, quit the shit and get on with the movie! God damn!
Anyway, another problem I depicted was the pop diva Samantha James. Her character got so god damned annoying and overused that I could hear my dick groan. This movie did not need her at all, since she just dragged the film done a whole lot. The only reason they put her in there is two full. 1.) To show that Chris is now famous and the school dork, and 2.) To get my dick hard! Only #1 worked out, and not that well (I still think you're hot though Anna. Call me!)
But, not all is lost. I will admit to being a sweetheart, and I was pulling for Chris to get the girl the whole time (even if he was a bigger prick than Ryan Seacrest). Why? Because I can relate to him. He was the high schooler who had all the right moves, but not a single girl noticed. He was sweet, funny, and charming. But, it just dind't work out. And that's where the love and comedy come in. And Ryan Reynolds pulls through on this.
All in all (and one for all), Just Friends is a good comedy romance/holiday film/chick flick that we can all enjoy. Sure, it's not as good as Reynolds (and Faris's) last flick,
Waiting..., but it gets the job done for tonight.

Verdict:
3 and a half stars out of 5