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well, since the 'sexed to death' scenario has been taken, and lord knows i strive for origionality at all times :
At the managers meeting, the usual characters were winding things up by casually discussing their fellow employees. No, scratch that - their peons - their worker bees, their drones .. who exist solely to do their bidding - their slightest whim no matter how stupid or trivial.
"jesus christ did you see the tits on the McManus chick today ...
that bitch has been asking for it for months now ..."
"isn't she on your team bob ?"
"yeah she is .. i'm arranging a week long training session out of town in a month - see how she performs after a few drinks ...and a hint that her job might be on the line"
"she's the one that just got married, right ?"
"thats her ... to some loser pulling in 30 - 40 G's - I'm sure she'll welcome the change"
"give her one for me Bob .... say - did anyone here see survivor last night ?"
at which point I kick the door to the conference room open.
I pause and relish the visible emotional evolution of shock, then anger - quickly replaced by fear, when the twin belts of plastic explosives strapped to my chest register in their reptilian brains.
"hi fuckers, I have news" i say - as their eyes widen further.
One asshole manages to regain a small measure of composure :
"what the hell is the meaning of this Wilson ?" (not my real name)
"Are you mad ?"
"well, i gues i am you weasly little cocksucker" i reply to his fat ugly mug, "I just got the news today that I have incurable cancer running through my entire body, and i thought to myself, i could do this slowly and painfully, or I could go out in a bang- doing the world some good by taking a half dozen of you pieces of shit with me."
I wait for a half minute, savoring the smell of their fear ...
Guys as low as this must surely suspect that this could happen at any time, no ?
I mean, you can't steamroller through life crushing anything and anyone in your path and not ponder that sooner or later someone might want payback ?
Maybe not ... maybe they are incapable of this kind of rational thought.
"before anyone asks" i continue "yes, this is real. Most of it was stolen from a construction site, and the detonator is something i made using plans I found on the internet - while i was at work on your dime. you assholes"
"there's enough here to take out most of this side of the building so i sent the other employees out - meaning we have about 2 minutes more before the police get here ... so lets get this done"
So i sit on the arm of one of the fuckers chair .."you're lucky pal, you're at ground zero. you and i will be completely shredded .. unidentifable .. thats not so bad. But see that fuck at the end of the table?" I point to the fuck at the end of the table, "that fuck might lose his legs and arms ... probably his head ...he's going to leave one god awful looking corpse. They'll have to pick him up like shit on a shovel. That's appropriate dont you think ?"
And knowing my time was running out i say "well, thats it ... time to go" and I pull this pin and yell "BANG" at the top of my lungs....
simultaniously slamming the conference table top with my arm.
3 of them immediately piss their pants. Which is exactly what i wanted to see. And i wanted them to see that I saw.
So as the humiliation sets in, mingled with a look of relief, I softly but audibly say "bye you fuckers" and detonate for real.
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