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But dude, think about it, though....how many people have kids so they can pass onto them some responsibility they they are themselves unable or unwilling to realize? It would be like a last ditch attempt..."Well, if I can't be innocent, then my kid will..." "If I can't be rich and famous, then my kid will...there's hope for the family name yet..." Et cetera. But he won't, necessarily, because he's human like you, and his strength will be prone to caving like yours.
I still say that if you're in pain, that means you're still in there somewhere. I would consider your innocence gone if you DIDN'T post on the topic.
Also, refer to Ray Bradbuddy's "Something Wicked This Way Comes," there is a passage in there about the "basic good man" that seems totally relevant.
Also, pick up any comic book worth its salt and you will see that the major lesson in those things is, "It's a tough road, and it's hard work, being the good guy." You can totally deal with whatever it is. Your monolithic organization has not done as much damage to you as you think, because you're posting this post. Stupid speech over.
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