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I'm such a cunt
I didn't want y'all to think that I have no sense of humor. I do.
An owner of an established bar is auditioning pianists. After a day of listening to mediocre artists, he finally hears a great pianist. So, he asks the guy what the name of his song is.
The pianist responds, "The name is, 'I Want to Fondle Your Breasts.'"
"Do you have any others?" the owner asks.
So the guy plays another amazing piece of music. The owner asks only to find that this piece is entitled, "Play with My Balls,'"
The owner hires the guy on the condition that he (the pianist) not tell anyone the name of his songs. The pianist agrees.
That night, after a wonderful set, the Pianist goes to the bathroom for his break, then comes back for another round of songs.
A lady approaches him after a number and says, "Excuse me, do you know that your fly is unzipped and your dick is hanging out?"
The pianist responds, "Know it?! I wrote it!!"
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By the time you're twenty-five they will say you've gone and blown it. By the time you're thirty-five I must confide you will have blown them all
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