[Mr. Nash]

Those are some of the funniest damn things I've ever herd.

Heres some horrible jokes.

What did the blonde say when someone blew in her ear?
Thanks for the refill.


What's silver and red and waddles into walls?
A hungry zombie baby with forks in its eyes and coverd in blood.



Ever hear about that three legged dog that walked in the saloon and say "what one of you shot my paw?"



So this guy walks into a bar and says, "Gve me two beers."
The bartender obliges him.

The guy looks into his wallet and says, "Give me two more beers."

So the bartender gives him two more beers. The man went on like this until he had put down ten beers, and keeps on going in his wallet and asking for two more beers.

So the bartender asks, "What's in your wallet that you keep looking at?"

So the man opens his wallet and says, "The more I drink, the prettier my wife gets."


There was an American man that had an meeting in France. He met a woman and that night they had their own meeting. While they were where having sex, she was yelling, "TROU FAUX,TROU FAUX." He did not know what that meant, but assumed it to be some sort of praise.
The next day, he went to play golf with the men he had the meeting with. One of them made a hole in one. He yelled, "TROU FAUX,TROU FAUX !"

They looked at him and said, "what do you mean wrong hole?"



10 Things In Golf That Sound Dirty

1. Look at the size of his putter.
2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent.
3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.
4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
6. Lift your head and spread your legs.
7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.
8. Just turn your back and drop it.
9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls.
10. Damn, I missed the hole again.


A father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen upon the condom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms. The father replies, ''Well, you see that 3-pack? That's for when you're in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night.''
The son then asks his father, ''What's the 6-pack for?''

The father replies, ''Well, that's for when you're in college. You have 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning.''

Then the son asks his father what the 12-pack is for.
The father replies, ''Well, that's for when you're married. You have one for January, one for February, one for March, one for.....''


A married man and woman are going on a robe trip. THe man is skinny and his wife is real big. He says "honey, you better use the bathroom now because I am not stopping this time." She said "ok, whatever, lets go." After a while of driving she says "oh honey stop the truck, I gotta go bad." He said "no, I told you I wasn't stopping." She said "you better stop or I'll shit all over your seat!" Well they're driving down the highway pretty fast so two biker cops start following them. The man says "look, just stick your fanny out of that window and go." So she did. A huge hunk of shit flys into one of the coppers face and he says to the other cop "man! What kind of tobacco is that guy chewing?!" Then the other cop goes "I don't know but did you see the side of his jaws?!"


Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Tim?"

"My goldfish died," replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."

The neighbour was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your fucking cat."


One day the teacher asked the children in class to give examples of what was not good to put in one's mouth.

Little Johnny says "It is not good to put a lit light bulb in one's mouth."

The teacher says "that is correct, but why?"

Little Johnny answers "I don't know, but my mom always tells my dad "turn off the light before you put it in my mouth!"


The teacher's trying to get all of her students to buy a copy of the class picture.

She says, "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you're all grown up. You'll say, There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or, 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'"

Dirty Johnny says, "And there's the teacher. She's dead."