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I have a friend like that too. The word I would use to describe him best would be 'goon'. (This happens to be the same buddy whose house I was walking up to in my first anecdote.)
Here's a story about the 'goon' (Tom). Back in high school, we were sitting at the table during lunchtime. I noticed Tom (He's a pothead.) staring off in the distance while holding his carton of milk in his hand.. I said 'Hey Tom, you know what time it is?' Without thinking or even really looking, he turns his wrist to check his watch and ended up dumping his whole carton of milk out on his lap. This was pretty fucking amusing to us, but it gets better...
After lunch, Tom and I were in the same class, and by pure coincidence, we were supposed to be giving speeches that day. Well, the teacher asked who would like to go first, and I, knowing my buddy has a soggy milk crotch going on, said 'Tom does!' The teacher looked at me, then to Tom, unsure of why I would be volunteering him. Tom was like 'No, I don't want to go first.'
At this point the teacher suspected something was up and asked him if he had completed his assignment. He said he had. She then asked why he didn't want to go. Tom didn't really answer, just kinda kept blowing off the question and saying he didn't want to go. Eventually, the teacher made him go first. He went up to the front of the classroom and delivered his speech as if nothing was wrong, but myself and the rest of the class were laughing uncontrollably at the huge wet stain on the front of his pants. The teacher realized why he didn't want to give his speech, but it was too late.
We all had a good laugh, except for Tom who, to this day, still does not see the humor in it. He was pissed at me for about a week, but he got over it. We're still very good friends (In fact, he'll be a groomsmen in my wedding in 2006.)
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