Happy birthday chuck!
 

chuck norris turns 68 today. can you believe that? 68.
bring on the norris jokes

Happy B-Day
 

...Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups, he pushs the ground down.

Chuck Norris killed the dinosaurs.

In a game of Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do no pass go, you do not collect 200 dollars, you'll be lucky to get out of the whole ordeal alive.

68? No shit?

Chuck Norris doesn't wear condoms because there is no auch thing as protection from Chuck Norris

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard

YEAH - chuck norris is so tough he doesn't take the bus. . . uhm. . . no. . . no bus for chuck . . . he takes a cab . . . yeah. . . and then they don't even charge him or anything. . . in fact he charges them. . . yeah. . . that's how tough chuck is. . . .yeah. . . .

*groan*......this is why monkeys don't do stand-up.

http://www.joystiq.com/media/2006/02...nmaskedjoy.jpg

1. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
5. Chuck Norris defines love as the reluctance to murder. If you’re still alive, it’s because Chuck Norris loves you.

no - we don't stand up- we hang from trees with our tails and fling POOH at people like you (who obviously can't appreciate our subtle and stunning humorous flourishes!)