Relationship Whimsy...From A Female Perspective
 

My mother sent me these...I thought they were cute...


One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"

He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
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A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

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"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack said as he stepped
out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"

"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

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He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.
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A PRAYER....

Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.


Actually...I had a different answer for that last one...heh

Only a man with a great sense of humor can appreciate these;)

Re: Relationship Whimsy...From A Female Perspective
 

Helpless to the onslaught?



Those are kinda funny and sadly, true for the most part.

I like those, Rayne. I'm going to have to send them to my mum.

http://extremetoysforboys.com/index..../item/Wheelman's%20-%20Bushpig.html

To all long suffering men:

SUCCESS:

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

STYLE:

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

MONEY MANAGEMENT:

A man is a person who will pay two dollars for a one dollar item he wants.

A woman will pay one dollar for a two dollar item that she doesn't want.

HAPPINESS:

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

MARRIAGE EXPECTATIONS:

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

MARRIAGE DECISIONS:

Men marry because they are tired.

Women marry because they are curious.

Both are disappointed.

MARRIAGE AND THE FUTURE:

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband,

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MEMORIES:

A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her.

A man cherishes the memory of the woman who he didn't marry.

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN:

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.

WHAT A WOMAN WANTS:

Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy...

- One is to let her think she is having her own way.

- The other is to let her have it.

LONGEVITY:

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

MISTAKES:

Any married man should forget his mistakes - no use two people remembering the same thing.

THE BATTLE:

A woman always has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Nice one Newb. The only thing in there that I disagree with, is the "Understanding Women" part. But I may understand them because all of my friends are girls....

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..
its like you were talking about me personally..LOL

definately got a few giggles out of both sets