pick up lines and comebacks
 

what are your pickup lines? Or comebacks to a pickup line?
Got any funny ones?
Post em.


Did they just take you out of the oven? Because you’re hot!
If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.
Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.


Female Comebacks

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Very funny stuff. That's my laugh o' the morning!

thanks i guess

one liners:

I just shit into my pants. Can I get into yours?

Hi, I'm foreign. I've got Russian hands and Roman fingers.

They call me "coffee". I grind so fine.

Guy: I bet you're a C-cup. Girl: How'd you know that? Guy: My testicles are the same size.

I'm bigger and better than the Titanic..... only 200 woman went down on the Titanic

Did you just sit in a water puddle, or are you just happy to see me?

I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

Do you like magic? (Yes or No) I want to cast a spell on you with my magic meat wand.

Can you help me up? My dick is too big.

You remind me of Pokemon. I just wanna piccachu.

You're so hot, your ass is on fire.

You know, when you and I get old and our son/daughter comes up to me and says "Daddy, how did you meet mommy?" I'm gonna have to tell him/her how quiet you were, or how difficult you were being."

I'd suck a fart out of your ass and hold it like a bong hit.

Your graphics are so beautiful that they rival Doom 3.

Hey, there. I've got a question for you. What's the speed limit of sex? (I don't know) 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around

Was your father a 'meat burgler'? It looks like somebody took fine hams and shoved them down the back of your dress!

I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk.

I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade

Would you like to come over to my place later? You can bring some friends because my face seats five.

You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.

i almost forgot one.

"Let's bypass all this bullshit and just get naked."

ok so picture this...........you're in a store looking for something when one of the hott workers walks up to you and says, "can i help you find anything?"

you come back with, "yeah, i'm looking for you number."


as lame as it is it works. :D

Re: pick up lines and comebacks
 

Most of those are Lame, and the rest would be really bitch answers to relatively innocent questions (the "is this seat taken" one, for all she knows he just wants to fucking sit down, and if he's asking what she does for a living, it's not gonna be the first thing he says, so it's probably in mid-conversation)

"That shirt is very becoming on you. Of course, if I was that shirt I'd be-coming on you too."

"Hey, is that a boil on your face or are you just happy to see me?"

"I like Nascar, what's up?"

and anyways, what's with all this "pick up line" bullshit? Since when did a stiff punch to the stomach not work?

Since bitches started workin' out.