Half-Ass'd Endings
 

What sucks in movies that suck is when the suckiest part is all the way at the end of a sucky two hours. Let me paraphrase - you go through the movie and it is horrible at best. Only to find out that your demonic presense or serial stalker is actually vulnerable to <gasp>, the simplest and most commonly-available thing.

For example, if anyone saw the Mel Gibson flick "Signs", they possibly were pissed and annoyed to learn that the devlish aliens hellbent on Earth Domination were actually highly alleric to water. It's actually like acid to them. So much for higher intelligence. Hey aliens! If water kills you, try to stay away from the planet that is %75 composed of it and where it falls from the sky often.

Another example...the Ring. I've complained about this movie before, but in sport, I'll bring it up again. How do you stop a goulish figure that will kill you in seven days? Easy, break out your 1986 VCR and buy a $2 VHS tape. Simply make a back-up copy of this original tape, and hand it to one of your friends. Apparently, this goul isn't so much a tortured spirt, but a marketing genius.

And finally, one of my most hated cures...sunlight. Vampires, the aliens from "Pitch Black" and even the ghost from"Darkness Falls"...all are suseptible to the sun, which may conveniently go away for an abnormal amount of time... Maybe it's cloudy...maybe there is an eclipse. Beings that can die from something that is readily available day in and day out make me laugh. Holy shit people...run outside into a friggin field and just wait an hour. You'll be okay!

And so, this thread is more about other movies you've seen were the ending and means to the ending have made you want to vomit in digust. It's no longer our father's era. Monsters don't die with wooden stakes, silver bullets, chants you've had written on the back of your hand the whole time or air. At least, they shouldn't.

Ok, then what should they be killed by?

Magic is out, weapons are out, natural elements are out... we are running out of options here!

i think im starting to get why your name is downside...

Jigsaw had a crappy ass ending it was like they ran out of money so they just ended it right there. Curse of the Puppet Master also had the same kind of ending but the whole movie sucked any way.

Despite popular belief, the name I've chosen has little to do with my opinions on horror flicks, allbeit a good assumption.
I am just as critical of everything that I partake in.

And as for suggestions as to what to kill them with...I dunno. Something extremely hard to find or rare. Something that hasn't existed in 1000s of years, or better yet, won't exist for another 10 years (leaving the hunted to walk the earth in wait). I'm not sure what should kill these creatures. I am just posting that I will be less afraid of creatures that can be taken down with cotton shirts or wind.

I never saw either Jigsaw or Curse of the Puppet Master, so I can't comment. But you know it's bad when the movie's credit line ends, so they have to resort to nothing.

Ok, I think I got it then. I can't quite think back 10,000 years, so I will go with 2,000, and apparently the second coming could happen 10 years from now (according to the National Enquirers prophets), so I would say the next weopn against evil will be.... Jesus! Yes, he will ascend from the heavens, or wherever, and take on the Vamp, wolves, and girls who crawl outta TVs! Geaux Jesus, it's your birthday..

Ha, Jesus! I suppose that would be a good one. But what a strange twist that would be in the normal Nightmare on Elm Street movie. I wonder what Jesus dreams of, and if so, can Freddy get him there?

Good thought.

yea, jesus. jesus can be the third element thrown into the freddy v jason franchise.


ash is out jesus can come in

I think the idea of making the "Villian" a vulnerable villian is to almost leave the watchers at ease or a "closing" ,if you will, to the movie..But as we have found with Freddy we thinks he's done but he seems to always come back. Not sure but its a theory I have...all movies have to come to an end sometime or later. Most bad guys have a weakness...and Hollywood has it's famous ending..Happily Ever After.

Oh yea that would be an eye catcher..Jesus portrayed in a horror flick...the religious finatics would have a corrinary..hehehhe :P