Do you believe in true love?
 

My faith in true love is faltering. The more time goes on, the more I realize that the chances of my ever finding my one true love are slim to none. I know exactly what I want. I can picture her in my dreams. So far I have found nobody like her, even remotely so.

She would be kind, and understanding. Sympathy would be one of her best traits. She is into horror and sci-fi, and is forward thinking. She often thinks of the future and what might be. She is a dreamer, both metaphorically and literally. Stuck somewhere between the clouds and the ground. Very liberal, and very open minded. Very intelligent- someone that I could discuss metaphysics and computer theory with and not feel like I was talking down to them. Calm, collected and self assured.

She would be beautiful, especially in the face. I know beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so let me describe her:

She is brunette, her hair halfway down her back. She is very fair skinned. She has a clear complexion, and doesn't feel the need for a lot of makeup because she is confident enough in herself to not care what other people think. She has vibrant eyes, bright blue. She is fairly slim, though she is not modelesque at all, meaning she doesn't look anorexic. Decent sized bust, D cup at most, but I would be happy with a B cup. That doesn't really matter to me. Long, slender, cat-like hands that you just want to hold onto forever and never let go of. That's it for the physical aspects.

Maybe I'm just not being realistic. Maybe I'm asking for too much. But I don't think so. I believe everyone has their own true love. It's finding them that's the hard part.

Please, share your thoughts.

Also, for those of you who HAVE found your true love, how long did it take you? Were you looking when you found them, or did it just kind of "happen"?

I need to know as much as possible. As I stated previously, I may be too stringent in my requirements, but dammit, I KNOW what I want.

yup

my true love is simple.... im gona marry someone just like me! cept in male form, and white and taller. not much taller though

personality wise tohugh he should be a lot like me....

as for having already found him.. cant say just yet, but hoping for the best ;)

oh. and be picky as fuck ok? dont settle. not saying like 'OMG she likes a different color than me' but u know.

also, i like running into people than purposefully seeking them. its more fun that way

I believe in true love.

I think a true love isn't what you really want, it's what you need. So it's like, a yearning over posession, and what you kind of described was posession, I hope that made sense. I believe that you will only know that you have found your true love when that person either gives you a different perspective on life and sort of gives you a type of enlightenment that no one else can give you. I also believe it's about a building up a bond that can't be broken.

Now love at first site, that's a different story, of which I don't believe in.

:)

I understand why you might say that, so let me clarify myself a little bit.

I don't want someone who is submissive. I want someone who, along with the attributes listed above, is independant and self sufficient. I want an individual. Someone who I can respect, completely and thoroughly. Also, they must respect me. I'm looking for something mutual here, which is why this may be completely unrealistic. To find someone like that, who also thinks of me the same way, is going to take a LONG, LONG time.

Well, I never had the perfect mate in mind when I started dating women. I tended to meet them through friends or social gatherings, or class (when I was a student, not a teacher), or work. And it would always turn out that some girl would listen to me talk, and decide that they wanted to get to know me better. Never have I had to approach a girl first. I guess I was just lucky that way. Every girl I dated had flaws, just like every girl I dated saw the flaws in me. But, you have to look past the flaws if you expect to find happiness. Otherwise, you just sit around waiting for perfection to come along (which it never will.) I never believed that there was one girl that was "right" for me. I think there were many. And I just happened to get married to one of them. :D There are things about my wife that I used to wish she would change ... but I discovered that I am happy that she is different than I am in a lot of ways. It keeps me feeling like an individual. We agree on all the BIG compatibility issues (religion, how we raise our kid, politics) and differ on small things like entertainment, hobbies, decor, and food. It is enough to make us great friends and yet retain our individuality -- you know?

As far as looks go, I like all types. Blondes, brunettes, redheads; big, small; fair skinned, dark skinned; green eyes, brown eyes, blue eyes; whatever. As long as they had good teeth and a pretty smile. :)

I think you need to be more open to women if you're truly going to be happy. Give a few of them a chance. Get to know them. You may find that the "perfect woman" for you was someone you never expected.

As far as being "more open" goes, that's not even possible. I'm 20 years old, and I've had as many girlfriends. I am burnt out right now though.

I definetly believe in true love...just might never find it. Like Fluff said though i am hoping for the best and just trying to get my prioritys straight. Like finishing high school, getting a job, deciding on going to college. Hopefully along the way i will meet someone, but who knows maybe i already know that special someone.....

I believe in true love. I've pictured my wedding a hundred times. This sounds insane coming from a teenager, but I know what I want. Someone open minded, intelligent, funny, confident, dark haired with a nice smile.

I've always thought that there is one person that is absolutely right for you. When you find them, you know. Thats what I think love at first sight is. There are hundreds of other people that are close to perfect, and you can be completely happy with them, but they arent exactly who you are meant to be with.

Agreed...........except for the whole "man" part lol

Agreed. I have found plenty of women that I could be happy with, but I know there are better matches out there, and with my personality, I just can't settle for anything less than the best.

Yeah, my best friend is like that. He's about to turn 37 and hasn't dated anyone in 4 years.

If I haven't found her by the time I'm 30, I'm gonna set my sights a wee bit lower.

Of course, I may get in a particularly depressed mood and lower them 5 minutes from now, but I know what my ideal is. I may be happy for a while, but that nagging feeling that something just isn't right would start creeping up on me after a while.

That sucks. Although i havent dated anyone in about 2 years. But its probably for the best, being that i always end up dating crazies lol

All this talk about "the one true love" the person you are meant to be with ... meant by who? By fate? Come on. I think that's all a lot of over-romanticised hokey. Real love takes time. You can't just spot it, or feel it from a glance. It grows out of getting to know a person, out of spending time with them and learning to trust them and appreciate them. If you sit around waiting for some sort of soul mate to come along, you are setting yourself up to be a lonely Joe.

Wow good point. But you would never get to know a person if you never had the urge to meet them right?

I know. It's most likely a fanciful dream. But I'm a dreamer of the highest order. I have a hard time staying grounded in this reality, in this world. I spend most of my time thinking about the future and all the possibilities. I dream of meeting alien cultures, of humans evolving beyond our physical form to pure energy and world peace, no matter how unrealistic and cheesy it may sound. I see things as they could and SHOULD be. I see the best and worst of everything.

I probably AM setting myself up to be lonely for the rest of my life. I won't deny that, it's a very realistic possiblity. But I can't get the thought out of my head, no matter how hard I try. It's always there in the back of my mind. I've become interested in more than one married woman because of this, and I've gotten myself into some very bad situations. I just can't help myself.

Im the same way. I constantly daydream about the perfect future and how it all should be.

I know that love takes work, but cant I still dream?

Exactly. I often let my dreams get in the way of reality though. It's my biggest fault.

See we are alike Ege! :D

LOL...That's because you LIKE crazies :p...Who wants to be with a boring, sane person, anyway?..lol

love is a word used for two people to get financial help

Here you go Ege.

Pretty and cheap.:p

Yeah, but what drives you to want to meet them may be a number of things, probably lust or the hope for love. But, let's just say that I decide to leave my wife tomorrow. I look at her and think: You know, there may be someone out there who is just like her, only she loves to read great literature like I do, and she isn't so pale. So I leave. Turns out, I may date several more women who have aspects that I found missing in my wife, and have all the aspects my wife had. Then, I start picking out little things about each of them that I want to look for in someone. I would could do this until the day I die. NOBODY is perfect. And anybody who is married (married folks, come vouce for me here) will tell you that NO marriage is ideal. They all take work, and compromise, and understanding, and quite a lot of sacrifice. I think the divorce rate is so high because people try to find a romance like they see in the movies, and when it doesn't work like they thought it would, they think they made a mistake. I, for one, am comfortable in my marriage. It took a lot of work, and I had to eat a lot of humble pie too (which is my most hated food), but I have grown to develop an unbreakable bond with my wife as a result. Sure, she isn't perfect, but she makes me happy.

Ege! Be a writer! Write some of these dreams out in stories. Live them on paper as if they were reality. You don't have to let go of your dreams to live in the real world. You just have to learn to separate the two.

Ha.

:(

Ooohh cheer up, I was only jokin with you.

Honestly, what if I don't want to?

Sometimes I think I actually enjoy wallowing in self pity.

Jesus christ, what is this, I'm having a pity party for myself over here. I'm sorry guys, you don't need to hear this bullshit.

I know, but I'm in more of a "cry myself to sleep" mood.

To the board members: you're seeing a side of me that I never show on here. I'm sorry about all of this.

Well, whatever makes you happy. You can't a help a guy that likes being miserable. He doesn't NEED help!

Same here dude. Dont even worry about it. I feel that way all the time. And as for Stingy, i know im never gonna meet the perfect person, and i dont want too, i just want somebody who i can talk to and we can just hold each other in arms, and think of the love that we have found. As long as we both know that we love each other, thats all that matters in my book

No dont get me i love crazies lol. Theres this one girl that actually wants to have sex with me on a grave. If thats not love....tell me what is lol :D

Hey man, that's the only way you'll find love. Really. But don't listen to me. I may not know what the hell I'm talking about when it comes to this subject. I speak of my experiences as if they were fact, applicable in all cases. And I shouldn't do that. I could be completely wrong.

Well everyone has their opinion. Maybe you can find a person like that. BAM! And you know you love her. But most of the time its not that case. So maybe your right and im wrong, maybe im wrong, and your right. Either way no ones ever gonna determine if there is "true" love.

i think one of the most important thing in a relationship is give and take. and if you can find someone who can be understanding enough to know how important something is to their partener and is prepared to make a small scarifice for the sake of their happiness. ( like moving to a small town with them so they can have their dream job or something like that) is a very special trait in my opinion. not to mention sticking by them no matter what. i think is another good thing. well that and many other things of course. i dunno. i guess there really isn't a perfect partener. just be happy when ya find someone whos bad habits or what ever are over shadowed by her good ones

I hear you.

Me too. This whole true love thing is getting me thinking. So now Im listening to sad songs.

I love sad love songs. What are you listening to?

dammit! I hope I didn't go and bum everyone out. I just don't want to see Ege throw his life away because he pulls a Jerry Seinfeld on every girl he dates. I think everyone who has been participating in this discussion will find someone they love. No doubts. You all have too much going for you to worry about that.

Not so much love songs for me, but songs that are depressing, such as pretty much any Neurosis song, the acoustic Opeth album, and quite a few Smashing Pumpkins songs.