A day in the life of the hippest person in the world
 

I started the day by waking up at 1:37pm, I jumped on my mac to upload some new songs to my i-pod (all songs you've probably never heard of) that I would experience today. I got in the shower and sang "love will tear us apart" by joy division about 2 and a half times. I got dressed by trying to look like lady gaga trying to look like elvis costello, I was quite pleased with the result. next, I spent about 2 hours making my hair look like I didn't have to spend any time on it because it was naturally awesome. I headed to starbucks and turned my phone off because so many people want to talk to me and I don't want people interrupting me while I write my novel about how corrupt the government is. I got tired of looking at all the poseurs at starbucks these days and also I was tired because I think I have chronic mono. I went home and took some snaps of thrift stores and sad homeless people, I'll photoshop them later and post them on my art blog.

anway, how was your day? ha j/k I don't care.

Have six of you and I met? Also, do you work for McSweeney's?

I'm one of a kind, sir. *adjusts thick rimmed glasses*

My mistake. Let me buy you some Whole Foods sushi and take you to a Jim Jarmusch movie to make up for it.

Sounds like a pretty hip day, but I think I've got you beat:

I woke up at 5:00am, ironically, then brushed my teeth and took a shower, both with a total sense of irony. Then I got dressed and went to work, totally ironically, laughing at myself the whole way there. I worked until about 12:30pm (I just sat there at my desk, compiling spreadsheets and forwarding memos, rolling my eyes and smirking the whole time). Then I went to lunch at "McDonald's". Psh. Seriously, right? I ironically ordered a Big Mac because, like, everyone eats those. I mean what's the deal? Anyway, I went back to work all smug and finished out the workday, loving the irony of it all. Then I went home and read my copy of the Best American Nonrequired Reading 2005 Edition (I mostly just glanced at excerpts from Beck's introduction. Is it okay to like him again yet or not? Er, nevermind. I "get" it.)
Anyway, I don't remember what else I did, but I'm sure it was all done with a snarky grin and a firm sense of irony. Then I went to bed, because well, everybody expects me to. Psh, heh heh.

Woke up on the couch at whatever the ungodly hour it was when my three year old jumped on my chest and said,"Daddy I peed my pants." Got him changed and back to bed, couldn't fall back to sleep myself so I got ready for my last final of the semester. Did mediocre on the exam, did not kiss the girl of my dreams good bye afterward (because I'm married with kids of course) and went home. As soon as I get there the wife leaves to hang out with 'the girls' and I play with my two sons (best part of the day might I add) feed them bath them and put them to bed. My wife comes home 2 hours later than she said she would. And then she proceeds to tell me how she got stoned with a bunch of guys. Got drunk. Became the bad guy during a very short argument and now I'm back to bed, on the couch.

So we're talking about our days?
I can throw one in that's probably about as boring as what I've seen so far.
I got up at like...10:36. No work today. Actually I hate my job so I decided I'm really only ever gonna work on mondays and tuesdays.
I came out here to my living room where the PC is, switched it on then made myself a coffee. Came over with said coffee, replied to an email I've not had the chance to on account of work, I thought a little, I downloaded my weekly comics from dc++, I hung out with my cat though he was only being extra friendly 'cos he wanted to be fed early. Gave my rats and my bug some water. Read some comics. At 12:30 I turned my "lights" on and checked the status...looks like some more females happening which is good.
Half-re-potted my salvias, will finish with new potting mix and coco coir later on. Theyre drinking now.
The chick got up a bit later and we just hung out, I made tea then. We watched an episode of Glee, I ate some grilled flatbread and sardines mixed with habanero sauce and finely diced onion, made a coffee again which I'm drinking now.
Typed some shit. Played some Billy Idol.
This is now.

Hmm...tsk, tsk...MD you poor thing. Lady Dahmer trapped inside a angry girl's body.

Get over here and we can be the next Bonnie & Clyde. Our killing and robbing spree will make headlines around the world.

That, and we will blast all babies into space.

whoever (*cough* fuglystick) is adding these tags has not seen me attention whoring, trust me I'm a pro.

I'm the coolest person I personally know, which is rather sad actually. Actually my wife is cooler than me, but this post is about me.
No one will hire me(this is going on a year and a half now), so I slept a little late.
Filled out some applications online when I got up, Staples, Best Buy, McDonalds...you know, the really high paying joints.

Went into the kitchen and saw that my favorite plant, a Peace Lilly, was all drooped over from lack of water. Asked the wife,"couldn't you water the plant?" to which she replied "you can water the plant as well as I can, and I have a handicapped son to take care of, lazy ass".

For the record, I'm not lazy and she knows it, she's just mad because I can't find a job.(my step son is autistic BTW.)

Went out and applied at several places, even Walmart.

Spent the rest of the day wondering how I went from $16.50 an hour as a manager at a huge liquor store to where I am now making nothing and happily applying at places I swore I'd never work.

Found $6 and some change in the car, and got a six pack of beer. Here I am now with 1 left in the fridge.
Gonna have to re-evaluate things some.

at least invent hipster days.

Not possible in my world. Everywhere I turn(or talk) is a reminder of what I don't have anymore.

The few moments of solace I get, is usually ruined by the wife reminding me that I no longer have the job I once had, and that I should be happy to "take what I can get". Which, at this point I would.
I don't mean to paint a bad picture of my wife, but...we were comfortable. She was used to buying what she wanted, Now, we're far from that.
I just wish she'd understand that I'm going through it too, and I know it sucks just as much as she does.

Sorry for dumping this here, I think it was the beer. Gonna sign off and finish that last one.

there's no way you could be unemployed for a year and a half if you weren't a lazy ass...

I got up, it was totally random. I got dressed in my conformist school uniform but tried to make it my own. I did my tie really randomly. I biked to school because, you know, like, we only have one world. When I got into school everyone was so random! I had a can of Monster to give me a buzz. For lunch I only had an apple. Random, right? Yah, I know. I'm just soooooooooo random. Random random random random random random random RANDOM RANDOM RANDOM RANDOM RANDOM RANDOM RANDOM RANDOM RANDOM FUCKING RANDOM

It really depends where you live. There are places where people cling for dear life to their drivethru positions and retail jobs are only filled as favors to somebody's family. There are people with doctorates living in tents in this country. I myself am running out of retail establishments to apply to.

I woke up sometime around 11am, as one of my two pet cats jumped on my face. Random guy I met last night seems to have snuck out earlier this morning, but who needs relationships anyway. I'm totally a feminist, and if he didn't like my unshaved legs I could totally not care less. Half hungover from last night's outing (PBRs and singing around a bonfire in my friend's back yard), I decided to get up and put on the kettle. I made myself a loose leaf chai tea, because going to a coffee or tea shop would just be selling out to the man. After drinking my tea while still in my boy shorts and bra, I shower and pull on my well worn jeans and favourite vintage band tee. Shirt has a small hole in it, likely from all my chain smoking so I grab my messenger bag and head to the thrift store to find a new old shirt for tomorrow. Once there, I browse through their vintage record collection, and then find some clothes. On the way home I stop by the farmer's market and buy some organic, locally grown produce for dinner and debate what local wine to pick up. Dinner goes off without a hitch, and I spend the night being a wino, listening to vynil and snuggling with my cats before dozing off.

Woke up at 6, drank water, went to bed. Got up at 2. Ate rice. Ate cheezits. Watched law and order. Played zelda. Here I am.

LOL <3

fucktencharacterrule

a lazy ass living off the taxpayers and unemployment.

Unemployment and welfare are two separate issues. Endo held a good job for a long time and payed those taxes-as a good friend of mine once said 'signing for unemployment is one of the only sure ways to ensure your taxes are spent in the right place.' How dare you come on here pretending like you know what it's like to look for a worthy job in this economy.

I woke up today at 10:39 AM. The Alarm on my Ipod Touch blaring in my ear. Rolling out of my futon I grabbed my clothing (Baggy Jeans and a Whitechapel Shirt) and headed to the shower. After taking said shower I decided to eat something, and that something was Top Ramen. After eating and doing the daily hygienics I got into my car, plugged in my ipod nano and turned my recently downloaded Belie My Burial EP. I drove and hour to school where I sat at a computer all day and installed Windows XP and Windows Server 2003. After 5 hours I got to reverse the process of going to school and arrived at home where I ate a few slices of pizza. Then got on my Macbook Pro and ended up on here and facebook as usual.

I like how only about 4 people get this thread so far.

I don't get it, but I'm good with that.

it bugged me at first :p

Just to be clear, whether I'm getting the thread or not, I've applied everywhere in the time I've been out of work.

Walmart, Staple, Office Depot, McDonalds, Wendys,...you name it, I've applied for a job there. No one has called me back. So, I'm not a lazy ass who doesn't want work.
I'm one of the rare ones that would be willing to bust my ass for minimum wage to take care of my family.

I also never claimed unemployment. So, to the poster worrying about their tax dollars(ha!!) they weren't spent on me, even though I'm as entitled to them as anyone that pays taxes as was mentioned also.
But, I never went that route. I had money saved from my previous job which I thought I would end up retiring from.

The only thing I can gather is that folks would rather hire an 18 year old than a 40 year old.
My last employer and I left on pretty rough terms, and I hate to use him as a reference because he may kill me when called for a prospective job. But it's pretty hard not to, being there 8 years.

I'm trying my ass off and nothing.

Haha I actually know a few ladies exactly like this... so I am a terminal hipster just like that guy said :(

We should switch locales. I am currently unemployed and looking like crazy because everyone here would rather hire a 40 year old who doesn't meet the job prereqs (Gr 12 diploma) but has a family to feed and house to pay for, than a 20 something desperate to move out before she kills herself and whom has a college diploma and is STILL continuing her education to find MORE job opportunities. I'm not saying you're not trying though. The world is fucked right now economy wise and just starting to get better. Are you totally computer savvy? The gov. will probably give you a bit of money to go to school and find out how to work Microsoft Office if you don't already know how. Also try e-mailing/calling the places where you applied and asking them what's up? Sometimes that kind of extra effort is all it takes to put you above the younger kids. But to be honest, who's going to hire a 40 year old to work at McDonalds when they can hire a hot blonde teen that will bring in all the hungry/horny 13 year old customers?

I'm fairly certain I could quit my job and get another one the same day, I have three other jobs in mind with the lowest paying one being 16$ an hour.

move out west

I get that, and I'm all for the young hot blondes working McD's instead of me, lol.
The sad thing is I was in the USAF for 8 years in electronics. I served from 90-98. I even have a National Defense ribbon for Desert Storm.
But no degree. And once I say that, interview over. Even though I know more than the techs they have.

Which is how I ended up in the liquor retail business via the help wanted section. But, I did well there too, and ended up a manager making good money.

Now, it's like I'm a leper or something. I'll work a shit job till something better comes along, but no one will even interview me.
I called a place today I applied at to see what was up, and they told me they found someone....even though the help wanted sign was still in the window.

I'm a clean person. I shower daily and shave. I don't know what the problem is with me, but it's something apparently.

how about this?

http://baltimore.craigslist.org/ret/1750929094.html

You're not kidding. Eeevryone I know has moved out there at some point. Even just for a summer, you make your tuition for the next year and get to live somewhere new for a few months. Doesn't sound half bad. Right now I have applied at a library and a nursing home where a girl got held at knife point by a resident today. At least work won't be boring.

makes me want to hold on to my job a little more... I made the lamest excuse today because my boss wanted to know why my phone sometimes rang 3 times then went to voice mail and other times it would ring twice or six times. I told him that it was my phone company, then he flat out just said "no it's cause you're picking up and hanging up on me" and I was like "no dude my iphone does that ever since the last update.. that sucks because I had nothing to do last night and wanted to work. why didn't you leave a voice mail?" "I left 2 messages!" "wow fuck I need to call rogers"

I would like to point out I got it. Tell me you saw that?

Sucky, yet true... Have you tried for Customer Service? Phone support? Tech support? It's not glamorous, but if you're determined, it's a good way to get your foot in a big company and then climb the corporate ladder... Both my boyfriend and I did it at Monster.com and I have a friend that did it with HP.

I know someone who makes 2000$ a week doing telemarketing

I'm job hunting again for the summer, and Rory, trust me, it's not that easy to get a job around here. You basically have to know the business owner or a manager or you're screwed. Doesn't matter if you went to Harvard or invented oxygen, no inside buddies= no job.

I've responded to numerous ads from Craigslist. I either never got a response at all, or was hit with a ton of spam about signing up for a paid career finding site.
I still reply to the ones that seem legit, but still no responses.


I'll give that a shot. It can't hurt to try. I've tried everywhere else. I applied last week at a hole in the wall diner that I probably wouldn't eat in myself.
Called today to see if they had decided on anyone for the position and was told the job was already taken.

Really pulling my hair out at this point. The savings are about gone, and our car needs $800 worth of service shortly.
Already closed and cashed in my retirement account, which sucked because they hit me with the early withdrawal penalty. Somethings gotta happen soon.

Real hipsters can fill in for 2 days..
 

I dont know which day im to review considering i`ve been up for almost 2 days..
But it doesnt really matter coz im sooo hip hop the hippie the hippie
to the hip hip hop, a you dont stop
the rock it to the bang bang boogie say up jumped the boogie
to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat...
Im also unemployed - Lets toss a party at my place!
NO - Seriously - First thing i did when i got up, yesterday, was to plant my ass infront of the PC, check hotmail, check gmail, check facebook.
Called an ad for a boat that i want, agreed to buy the boat http://bat.autodb.no/autodb/view.wa2...ied=1272398311 About 800$ :D .
Started to plan my summer, which is going to be sooo f`ing hip and cool and best and shit.. Went to the doctor. Talked shit with the doctor. Went home.
Played some ArmA 2. Got bored. Remembered that im the hippest guy on this planet, so its impossible for me to be boring or to get bored. Found my mary jane hiding in the tobacco pouch - Bad mary jane, very bad to hide there.
Consumed her. Ate. Found this boring site. Signed up on this boring site.
Transmuted into a un-hip dirty bastard. Found alot of lost pearls here. Tried to sleep. Got tired of pretending that i was tired. Got up. Played some BFBC 2. Realised that it was a new day. Sent a complaint to amzon regarding two posters that should have been here 1 month ago. But hey, i live in commie Norway, cant expect the world to take lightly on that.
Cleaned my kitchen ( in a cool fashioned way ), took a dump ( in a cool fashioned way i think.. ).
The rest of the hip hours went to read imperium by Ryszard Kapuscinski, and regularly check back on my hip facebook and HDC profile.
*Present time - I couldnt give a shait about beeing hip right now - Just wanna go to bed and dream about my new hipster boat..

that's the most un-hip day I've ever heard about.