Christian Analysis of American Culture
 

http://www.capalert.com/capreports/index.htm

Anyone seen this page? Is awsome. Movie reviews by hardcore christians. It's hillarius :D

Some examples:

8mm
I do not know if I can adequately describe the ugliness of "8MM" without being as ugly as it is. It is so dark and sinister that even I could not take it. I left after about 45 minutes. Sadomasochism, slashing murder, still pictures of child pornography, sequences of "adult" pornography -- REAL pornography not just imitations or depictions of it, and other examples of violations of His expectations which I will not mention herein PLUS all the language and other programming typical of R-rated movies

Idle Hands
"Idle Hands" (R, 1999) -- nothing idle about them. A teenage boy gruesomely killed both his parents and two of his friends and blamed "possession" for the deadly deeds. And that is not all the boy did while each time blaming his possessed hand. On top of this, he buried all his victims in his back yard to hide his evil behavior. There was drug consumption, drug dealing, vulgarities, a video clip of sadomasochism, death metal music video, and other items of corruptive influence. There was drug intoxication and "I *AM* [Jesus]." There were two resurrections plus a search for knowledge of Satan. The family cat licked up some of the blood and licked on an eye ripped from the mother. And some call this "entertainment." That's all I will say about what I saw and heard in 52 minutes of this 105-minute movie: 50% of it was enough to tell you about it.


THis site has alot of good reading :D :D

Oh...and i hope nobody in here is offended by the fact that i find this hillarius..

The one for "Dogma"...

http://www.capalert.com/capreports/dogmafull.htm

I love reviews of films in which the reviewer doesn't finish the film. Way to invalidate everything said.

They can have their opinions, even if they're close minded and poorly constructed. I'm sure they would find some of your opinions laugh-worthy. Anyway, I hate when people do things like that in the name of Christianity because it gives a lot of other Christians a bad name.

wonder what they would say about Mordum? :D

It's not just the obviously violent and/or sexually explicit films that piss these people off:

Is it possible to "offend" the Perfect?

Closed minds are extraordinarily dangerous things.

TCM-The Beginning
This film is, in addition to a bloodfest, a cussfest. Sure it is rated R but that does not remove the sin of such profanity. There is almost one cussword per minute (54.3 per hour).

They count?? Oh my...

Why do these people even bother to watch and rate "R" films if they just call them all "vile" anyway? These people have totally missed the point and live in a happy little righteous bubble.

I'm confused about whoever scores these films. He is so full of shit. For example, he compares the 1978 Dawn of the Dead and the 2004 remake to see if the newer version would have more violence, sex, language, etc. He writes:

So there were 3 times as many gore scenes and almost twice as many expletives in the remake. BUT....then he gives the 1978 Dawn a lower score than the remake on his Christian analysis ranking....not that it matters...both films received very poor scores. :rolleyes:

I think ALL you HEATHENS are going straight to H E double hockey sticks for watching these HORROR movies.



shame on you all










fuckers

None of those movies has as much violence as the Book of Joshua...

Scripture doesnt have to follow their moral guidelines, its holy.....:rolleyes:

Sad but true.....Fucking Bible Thumping Hypocrites. :rolleyes:

I bet they gave Passion of the Christ a rave review though... :rolleyes:


These types of reviews are pretty typical of the middle-america, overweight, bible thumping mindset, which sadly constitutes about 50% of the US population. I'm sure there are thousands of people in places like Kansas and Wyoming that find this information extremely useful. Once you get towards the coasts or the inland metropolitan areas (Chicago, Minneapolis, etc..), common sense and open minds tend to prevail far more frequently.


And now for some NOFX. The following lyrics are from a song basically written about the same type of fuckers that make lists like the one in this thread...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We call the heartland 'not very smart-land',
IQ's are very low but threat levels are high
They got a mandate, they don't want man-dates,
they got so many hates and people to despise

In the dust bowl, cerebral black hole, the average weight is well over 200 pounds
I hate to generalize, but have you seen the thighs, most haven't seen their genitalia in a while

No longer svelte, they gotta punch new holes in the Bible belt
They've blown out the fire under the melting pot, the red blood of America is starting to clot
No compromise, no sight thru others' eyes, they're just flies spreading pieces of shit
You gotta emigrate, stop living in hate, what makes this country great is dwelling on either side

They don't want visitors in Jesusland
They want life bland and canned in the fatherland

The fear stricken, born again Christian,
they got a vision a homogenized state
Textbooks decline intelligent design,
They got Bill Nye on the list to extricate

They don't want visitors in Jesusland
They want life bland and canned in the fatherland

Coz it turns on the devil inside them, baby. ;)

They're just afraid to look the truth in the eye.... poor sorry bastards. :rolleyes:

And yet there's a thread on this forum that showcases their opinions...

Looks like they're getting the attention they want.

Bwind, I think a Bad Religion song is more fitting actually of what these people represent.


__________________________________________________ _____________

Neighbors, no one loves you like he loves you,
And no one cares like he cares.
Neighbors, let us join today in the holy love of God and money,
Because neighbors, no one loves you like He loves you.
And what better way to show your love than to dig deep into your pockets.
Dig real deep, until it hurts. Alleviate your guilt,
Free yourself once again, because he gave to you, brothers and sisters.
Please give a 10, 25, or 50 dollar tax-deductible donation,
And I assure you your modest pledge will be used to censor TV and radio,
Ban questionable books, and contribute to many other Godly services.
No longer will young Christian Americans hedonistically indulge
In masochistic submission to rhythmic music, for with your monetary support,
There is no end to what we can achieve in this country.
The voice of God is government. The voice of God is government.
The voice of God is government. In God we trust, sinners repent!

I wish they could actually look at the merits of the movie instead of just pointing out how much offensive material is in it. They're not even watching the movie.

It might be a reason for them to spew their mental filth on, in the name of Christianity. These people obviously have no love for movies...or what they show.

I bet some of those poor bastards hide from the others and actually like a particular movie, especially an R-rated or X-rated one.;)

Of course, when the pack howls, they howl with them. Its like an unsaid group policy.

damn Bible thumpers...:rolleyes:

It just shows that they're not true christians.They're judging everyone elses actions,thinking that they're any better.But in the bible it says "Thou shall not judge"(Meaning don't judge people's lives.)Besides they're pushing off evil.Which means "they" belive ,Deny Satan exists denies and deny thou lord God/Jesus..

So!To all you con bible thumpers.Shut the hell up,and let people live their life.Meaning: Stop bashing them for watching horror movies.Yeah?So?OH!THERES DEATH SCENES!SEX!DRUG USE!Well,unless your living under a rock,these things happen everywhere and have been since the beginning of time.SEX! Believe or not is how you were born.Death is also our way of life,no matter how good we try to be,We will always go back to our own survival instincts.

Death,rape,kid-napping,mutants getting record lables.Blah,blah blah.So incase you haven't figured it out,all that (death,various versions) are acts of vengance,evil, or natural death.I really wish you would pull your head out of your asses,Horror fans,believe it or not!Are people too,they breath,they drink,they pee,they poop,they do everything else just like you!Just stop being hypocrites.Please?Okay thanks.

Why is this being discssed here at HDC?WE are the ones making a big deal out of it,not them!



When they start bashing our beloved horror flicks HERE at HDC......that's when we should get mad!:)

Uhhh i'm a christian... but i cuss and watch horror movies..... Where do I go when I die? lol

When they strike us, that's when we strike back, no sooner, no later, as soon as the first arrow lands, we charge! THIS... IS... HORROR!

Haven't you been paying attention, you're going straight to hell, just like the rest of us.....;)

I find it more amusing then anything, like others have already mentioned, they aren't even watching the films. Live and let live I say, if this is how they feel. I don't really see anything wrong with alerting parents to the content of the films their kids may be seeing, but the slant they put on it is ridiculous and completely close minded. Its apparently just human to insult others, put others down, and expect everyone to conform to your way of thinking. :rolleyes: But if that's the way they want to live their lives.....as long as they leave me the hell alone.......;)
Though how anyone can be so obviously threatened by a Harry Potter film....geez.....:p

Almost as bad as these guys:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=O228AQRvcqQ

Wow.Those people are stupid.

Wow....i'm speechless...fuck watching horror, this was truly scary!


http://www.godhatesfags.com/main/index.html
Their homepage. It's fucking amasing that that somebody acctualy belives in this shit.

Now here's a subject I'm very, very familiar with. I grew up with a Pentecostal reverend for a father; "spare the rod, spoil the child" to the full-on hilt, bible study, prayer meetings, speaking in tongues, your genitals are "tools of the devil," the whole sha-bang. It didn't rub off, though; I call myself an Optimistic Agnostic -- I'm not fully convinced there's a God, but I like to think there's somebody out there watching out for us -- but if I still had any contact with my dad I'm sure he'd label me a flat-out heathen.

And reading those reviews, I was reminded of what it was like growing up trying to watch any movie not made by Disney and trying to listen to any song not sung by Pat Boone. Hell, he went ballistic on me once when I was watching a cartoon and Buggs Bunny said, "There's something awful screwy going on around here." The word "screw" set him right the hell off!

But still, zealots are zealots and there's not really a lot one can do about it. Besides, their reviews aren't intended for anyone but others of their ilk. So long as they don't show up on boards like this attempting to shove their beliefs down my throat, more power to 'em.

Hi! For someone who had a hardline-religious Dad - you sound pretty level-headed and took the philosophical route to cope with the fundamentalism.

Good for you, soldier! :D

And it's true - we cannot change the zealots. They cannot see beyond the ends of their noses.

When these people finally find out about the real God, man...are they going to be red-faced.

I was thinking the same - but it is about a belief/faith system. None of us will really know until we get there!!!!!!!!!!! :rolleyes: