Horrorscopes
 

Thought some of the people here might enjoy the horrorscopes I posted on my blog. And some probably won't but if you've got a spare minute take a look. It may amuse you or not but at least it'll waste some time if you're at work. Win Win.

My Blog

"Responded to an advert in the local news
Fortune teller, full discretion, what could I lose

It wasn't like I thought it would be
Strange things happened to me

Let me do your horrorscope
I'll give you dreams, I'll give you hope
It can turn out either way
Good or bad, that's hard to say

On the edge to suicide, this thing has driven me
What seemed good turned into sorrow, pain, and misery

It wasn't like I thought it would be
Strange things happened to me

Let me do your horrorscope
I'll give you dreams, I'll give you hope
It can turn out either way
Good or bad, that's hard to say"

-Nekromantix

Ooh. Very Good. Show off.

But I do like that. Might have to look for that at some point.

I'm not one for taking much notice of these things, but as you took the time to write them and link here, thought I may aswell read mine.....

your words were quite the opposite of my position at work, was talking with my boss about my future development and promotion.

Maybe I'm just not cut out to wite horrorscopes then... though that's not stopped anybody else. Still the godawful puns kept me amused while writing them so thought I'd inflict them on others.

how did you decide/work out what to write? what was the inspiration. I'd end up typing some jumbled up stuff to make it sound a rediculous prediction.

Well I sat and meditated for 2 hours clearing my mind a little to better attune myself to the universe as a whole, then spent another two hours seeking my spirit guide to guide me safely as I delved into the occult. Had another two hours protecting my soul further with various spells and charms, followed by a two hour physical warm up to prepare myself for the harrowing experience to come. This lead to my 2 hour stint emptying my mind fully to allow the future echoes to channel through me. Followed by the actual process which took up another 2 hours. Then editing and making some sense of what I'd written was another 2 hours, then clearing up another 2 followed by a 2 hour warm down.

A total of 18 hours which usually means my predictions have about 6 hours to come true or have happened already so pretty useless really.

Umm... alternatively I was bored at work. And then I just made up some random rubbish with vague attempts at humour thrown in just for good measure and it took about 5 minutes.

Take your pick.

Did have to go and look up a couple of monsters to find 12 and what to write about some of them in order to find the bad puns though, so did cheat slightly.

heh... but wouldn't it be amusing if any of them held some truth for anyone. Maybe next time I should be even more vague.

Trust me you don't want this guy givin you a sign :D

How little you know me... am now just intrigued. So come on... where are the signs? As long as you're not just going to leave copies of "signs" because the thought I might have to endure that film again is definitely a scary one.

The most accurate horoscopes I have EVER seen (and I've seen a LOT) were in TV Guide magazine...Isn't that some shit?!...I just think that's very strange...

Of course, I haven't seen a TV Guide magazine in a couple of years (never really used them anyway...not much into watching television) but I do wonder if the horoscopes are still as accurate...

hmmm I can't think of any horoscope I've ever read that's been accurate. And I'm on a cusp so I read both.Although my red indian birth sign traits have been fairly accurate. I'm a crow... which coincidentally is one of my favourite films.

" Aries
You will meet a stranger who will make your head turn today. Just slightly to one side so they can reach your neck more easily. You will find this new relationship gives you wings but leaves you drained at the same time. Try to find a new job working at night for your own health and try to avoid gambling or anything else to do with stakes."


Pffft! Thats all I gotta say.

and she didn't look anything like this :(

http://i108.photobucket.com/albums/n...000-7516-4.jpg