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-   -   ATTN: Whiny Internet Kids (https://www.horror.com/forum/showthread.php?t=23021)

The STE 07-05-2006 04:51 PM

ATTN: Whiny Internet Kids
 
ATTN: Whiny Internet Kids…


You know all that pop music they play on MTV that you accuse of being cookie cutter and generic and lame? Well, why would so many people listen to it if it weren’t good? If groups like Broken Social Scene or whatever were so good, why don’t they get heavy radio or MTV rotation? Where’s Liars’ Grammy? The millions of people who listen to Jessica Simpson are in the right. You can tell because there’s so many of them. You guys who listen to bands that 8 other people listen to? You obviously have bad taste in music.

God is real and hates you for not being Jewish. You can cling to your hip and trendy “oh, God’s not real” outlook all you want, but don’t come crying your mascara-ridden tears to me when you get smote. I’ll be too busy getting smote, myself (I’m not Jewish either).

If you had any balls you’d sign up for the army and go fight in the middle east. “Oh, but the war is wrong and they’re killing innocent civilians, WHAAA!” Bull. Know how I know the war is right? Because it happened. If the war were wrong, we never would’ve done it. Same with those so-called innocents. If they were so innocent, why did they get shot to death?

Animals deserve to die because they taste so good. Our taste buds are more evolved and more important than every non-human (that includes Mexicans and women) life on this planet. In fact, they should just round up every animal on the planet and have like a little Animal Final Solution where we kill them all at once so we’ll have enough meat to eat forever. Fuck PETA.

Wicca isn’t cool. Chant all you want, you’re still going to be fat or un-cool or ugly or black. All you’re doing is giving those hippies at the magic store money for their drug habits. Do something useful with your time, like beating children.

Mumia is guilty.

You people who soak your keyboards with tears while you post your messages about how everybody hates you and thinks you’re stupid? They’re right. Same principle as the music theory. If so many people share this opinion, how could they be wrong? They’re not wrong. You’re wrong because it’s just you, and maybe one or two of your loser hippy friends.

Guys, don’t have sex with other guys. Ignore the fact that it’s evil. Don’t do it because it’s gross.

If 14 year old girls are going to dress like whores and have sweet racks, I should be able to have sex with them. If they don’t want my penis in them then they can dress like freakin’ 14 year old girls and have small boobs.

I applaud Wal-Mart for putting small, family owned shops out of business. If the smaller stores were any good, they would have stuck around. Except I still wouldn’t be shopping at them because non-chain stores smell like vitamin pills and feet. I want the places I shop at to smell cold and efficient, like a robot. God, robots are so fucking cool.

Outlaw special education. I don’t care if there are kids who need special attention or not. The kids that beat the shit out of them will give all the special attention they need. And if they grow into crazed high school students who bring guns one day and shoot up the school? Blame the deaths on the education system. If those dead kids were REALLY smart, they would’ve ducked.

Legalize abortion, but only because I hate children, and an early coat hanger can do way more damage than my car ever could, since the court made me take those spikes off the grill. Also, make abortion mandatory for anybody under a certain income level. That’ll take care of the poor people problems.

Asian people. I don’t think I need to say anything more.

If you’ve read this all the way through and you’re not offended at something, please respond with your particular subculture/ethnic group/whatever the hell’s wrong with you and I’ll incorporate you into a second rant (or just make an addendum if I’ve covered enough people in this one)

Miss Olivia 07-05-2006 04:55 PM

If they found a way to do retroactive abortions, I'm sure your mother would be the first one in line.

The STE 07-05-2006 04:57 PM

nah, she'd be too busy having sex with me

noctuary 07-05-2006 05:36 PM

If this is really what you think, I feel sorry for you.

Despare 07-05-2006 05:49 PM

Well... I thought it was funny heh.

orangestar 07-05-2006 05:51 PM

I giggled a bit

Elvis_Christ 07-05-2006 05:58 PM

Another self owning asshole post :rolleyes:

monalisa 07-05-2006 07:19 PM

Re: ATTN: Whiny Internet Kids
 
Quote:

Originally posted by The STE
ATTN: Whiny Internet Kids…


Our taste buds are more evolved and more important than every non-human (that includes Mexicans and women) life on this planet.

I women's taste buds were any more developed, there would be no more blow jobs. Sorry kiddo, but a man's crotch that has been safley tucked any in his jeans all day does NOT smell or taste good! And as for swallowing (which I know I brought up myself), it's because I think it's less mess, I don't want the stuff in my hair.
Just my opinon . oh that and THHHHPpppttttt!!!!! :)

The STE 07-05-2006 07:23 PM

Pfft. Penis doesn't taste THAT bad

monalisa 07-05-2006 07:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by The STE
Pfft. Penis doesn't taste THAT bad
Ever tasted it? Maybe it's the cheesy substance that can build up between the penis and balls, or maybe it's that buttcrack smell. But trust me, I know if a girl doesn't keep it clean it can stink, but again, trust me unless you keep your "area" clean, it can smell even worse. And smell and taste are very closley related, if not a part of each other.

The STE 07-05-2006 07:52 PM

well, I keep my penis very clean, and I don't care about whether or not other guys are getting blowjobs, so...*shrug*

monalisa 07-05-2006 07:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by The STE
well, I keep my penis very clean, and I don't care about whether or not other guys are getting blowjobs, so...*shrug*
I keep my little unit clean too, for the record, never had any complaiints although I have had rather incoherant compliments followed by a wide eyed "wow". He-he. Now if I could just find someone with a brain that works like mine, or at least compatible.

Miss Olivia 07-05-2006 08:12 PM

Well, it's nice to know that everybody here has nice clean genitalia. Of course, if you had a stinky twat or pecker you would probably lie and say it was nice and clean. It's a good thing there's no internet smell-o-vision because you'd have to download your crotch to prove it.

The STE 07-05-2006 08:16 PM

my crotch would be the most downloaded file on the internet

monalisa 07-05-2006 08:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by The STE
my crotch would be the most downloaded file on the internet
nope, mine would win. No doubt about it!

The STE 07-05-2006 08:47 PM

yours might get the most of just the regular iTunes style legal downloading, but if we count the cool illegal downloading from bittorrents and LimeWire, mine would leave yours in the groin dust

The Flayed One 07-06-2006 03:37 AM

I'll add some later.

BTW, that is one of the greatest things I've ever read on INTERNETs.

PR3SSUR3 07-06-2006 03:44 AM

I suppose this means we should all refer to you now as a racist homophobe spastic-hater with a kinky paedophobic desire for forced sex with children.

They say all publicity is good publicity but I dunno....

:confused:

Haunted 07-06-2006 04:46 AM

Haw!

AUSTIN316426808 07-06-2006 04:56 AM

Funny, I thought I heard Mencia say he didn't know how to use computers.

monalisa 07-06-2006 04:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by PR3SSUR3
I suppose this means we should all refer to you now as a racist homophobe spastic-hater with a kinky paedophobic desire for forced sex with children.

They say all publicity is good publicity but I dunno....

:confused:

Huh??? I just know I take pride in knowing my little unit is clean. And I believe would win hands down (no pun intended) against Sam's or anyone elses unit. Enough bragging, I'm starting to feel stupid about it....but I'd still win. :) And if it wasn't the truth, I wouldn't have brought it up or replied to it. More than you all wanted to know, I know, sorry.

meetthecreeper 07-06-2006 05:20 AM

When this guy runs for president, I want to be the guy that assassinates him.

monalisa 07-06-2006 05:26 AM

Which guy, I'm a girl.

AUSTIN316426808 07-06-2006 05:33 AM

I think those comments are for whoever wrote the original post.

Dante'sInferno 07-06-2006 05:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by AUSTIN316426808
I think those comments are for whoever wrote the original post.
I think so too...

monalisa 07-06-2006 05:40 AM

Oh, you mean Sam. Never mind. heh heh *steps back quietly into the shadows*

monalisa 07-06-2006 05:50 AM

...me want Sam... j/k!!!!!

PR3SSUR3 07-06-2006 05:51 AM

Quote:

Huh??? I just know I take pride in knowing my little unit is clean. And I believe would win hands down (no pun intended) against Sam's or anyone elses unit. Enough bragging, I'm starting to feel stupid about it....but I'd still win. And if it wasn't the truth, I wouldn't have brought it up or replied to it. More than you all wanted to know, I know, sorry.
No offense, but what the Jesus are you talking about?

lol!

monalisa 07-06-2006 05:58 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by PR3SSUR3
No offense, but what the Jesus are you talking about?

lol!

Sam and I got into a discussion about clean or unclean units. Read back farther in the thread if you don't understand.

Haunted 07-06-2006 06:32 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by PR3SSUR3
No offense, but what the Jesus are you talking about?

lol!

Great Blackbeard's arse! You said Jesus and lol! in the same post!!!

You're slipping on me, Pr3ssur3!;) :D You could have been suave and said "What the deuce are you talking about, woman? :D "

Haw! I kid. I kid.

By the way, do any of you know satire when you read it?

Jonathan Swift, eat your heart out (if you weren't already dead)!

The Flayed One 07-06-2006 06:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Haunted
By the way, do any of you know satire when you read it?
:confused:

http://ewancient.lysator.liu.se/pic/...w/nw/satyr.gif

PR3SSUR3 07-06-2006 07:15 AM

Quote:

Sam and I got into a discussion about clean or unclean units. Read back farther in the thread if you don't understand
Right, gotcha - guessing a 'unit' is a penis, or a vagina.

Though I'm not sure what this has to do with the racist, homo/paedophobic or paedophilic issues.

knife_fight 07-06-2006 07:24 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by The Flayed One
:confused:

http://ewancient.lysator.liu.se/pic/...w/nw/satyr.gif


I don't know satyr when I read it, either.

Soloman Kane 07-06-2006 08:02 AM

That was
 
FUNNY SHIT !!! REMEMBER TO KEEP YOUR UNITS CLEAN KIDS OR THE COMMIES WILL GET YOU !!!

Dante'sInferno 07-06-2006 08:22 AM

And if you dont keep it clean then the herpes fairy will come get you!











:eek:


(The herpes fairy is watching YOU.)

Haunted 07-06-2006 08:38 AM

Well, I didn't want to brag, but I can't keep it a secret any longer...

My unit is sooo glorious that a subtle glow emits from between me legs. (And no it's not a flashlight that got stuck up there whilest I was pleasuring myself... before any of you get any silly ideas). I have truly, the "holiest of holies." I have been blessed with the most beautiful hoochie on the planet.

Worship me.

Yeti.13 07-06-2006 08:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Haunted
Well, I didn't want to brag, but I can't keep it a secret any longer...

My unit is sooo glorious that a subtle glow emits from between me legs. (And no it's not a flashlight that got stuck up there whilest I was pleasuring myself... before any of you get any silly ideas). I have truly, the "holiest of holies." I have been blessed with the most beautiful hoochie on the planet.

Worship me.

Sure thats not just the sunshine shining out your arse??:D

Soloman Kane 07-06-2006 08:47 AM

Ummmm
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Haunted
Well, I didn't want to brag, but I can't keep it a secret any longer...

My unit is sooo glorious that a subtle glow emits from between me legs. (And no it's not a flashlight that got stuck up there whilest I was pleasuring myself... before any of you get any silly ideas). I have truly, the "holiest of holies." I have been blessed with the most beautiful hoochie on the planet.

Worship me.

Oh is that what that light was the other night! I thought it was the batsignal!! Haunted always answering my questions for me. :D ;)

The STE 07-06-2006 08:49 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by AUSTIN316426808
Funny, I thought I heard Mencia say he didn't know how to use computers.
Fuck Mencia. He's a hack comedian who got a TV show doing a shitty immitation of Dave Chappelle's table scraps

Miss Olivia 07-06-2006 09:00 AM

HOLY RADIOACTIVE COOTCHIE, BATMAN!!!!:D


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