Life's Unanswered Questions
 

Ever think of a question that nobody has the answer to? Or it's a comical question, but still doesn't have an answer? Well, post them here, and you might just finally get an answer.

Here are mine:

If Jimmy crapped corn and nobody cares, then why is there a song about it?

Why do people say "The alarm just went off" when really it just came on?

What is the point in saying "may I ask" and then follow it up with a question?

What does a bunny have to do with the resurrection of Christ?

Why do we say "heads up" when we actually duck?

How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there?

Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach?

why does it not bother anyone that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Gallagher Gallagher Gallagher Gallagher Gallagher Gallagher Gallagher Gallagher Gallagher Gallagher Gallagher Gallagher Gallagher Gallagher Gallagher Gallagher Gallagher Gallagher Gallagher Gallagher

Get it?

No.

if a baseball breaks a window does it cause the window PANE?

Why did the wrong two Beatles have to die first?

This was basically Gallagher's routine.

"Why is the word big so small, but the word little is twice as big!"

Blaugh.

Can you put a gay man in a straight jacket?

Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute?
Do stairs go up or down?

When people say, "I?m so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not even funny", why would it even be funny in the first place?

Can mute people burp?

How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?

If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?

Oh okay, I get it. Question: Do you mean David Gallagher?

this is more of a joke>


a school installed elevators for students to use. but so there wpuld be no goofing off, they had 2 elevators, one to go up, and one to go down. the elevators worked perfectly one time each, then they never worked again...! =) get it?

Yeah I've heard sooooo many of these but some are still funny. They're all over like "Why do we park in a driveway but drive on a parkway?".

: 24 questions from George Carlin's warped brain:

1. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

2. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

3. Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled a them would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?

4. What's another word for synonym?

5. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do: 'practice'?

6. When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

7. When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?

8. Where do forest rangers go to 'get away from it all'?

9. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

10. Why do they report power outages on TV?

11. What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

12. Is it possible to be totally partial?

13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

14. Would a fly that loses it wings be called a walk?

15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

16. If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?

17. If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

18. If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

19. If a turtle loses his shell, is it naked or homeless?

20. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

21. Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

22. If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

23. Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

24. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

Yeah, I mean the 7th Heaven guy......

The comedian, dude. Sledgehammer. Suspenders. Lousy jokes.

I always thought Gallagher was underrated as a comedian. He gets shit on as "the guy who smashes watermellons with a hammer" but I don't think he actually smashed watermellons on that many of his stand up shows. Seems like the worst/cheesiest of his stuff gets all the exposure

That guy's an annoying little fucker!

Sledgehammer was a fuckin' cool show

Why is it that if something is transported by truck it's called a Shipment but if it's transported by a Ship it's called Cargo?

ok someone has to know the answer to this!

OK I worked in Retail for 5 years and this has always bugged me!

Why is whenever you give people change they always say "Just like Mcdonalds"

Where do you shop that they dont give you your change back? I always ask where did this phrase come from and what does it mean, and they never have an answer they just roll their eyes or laugh and keep walking! I want a fucking answer!!!!!!

i ahve enver heard of the phrase before ..
but i tell you what..if ppl walk away ..laughing and rolling thier eyes at me
i would throw a whole handful of coins at them..aim for the back of thier heads...'roll ure eyes now u fucking commedien'

why couldn't our hands be called feet and your feet be called hands..
why is it a man is called a stud and a woman a slut .
is there really life ater death..
is there really a god
who invented the word 'racist'
are we supposed to have this many fingers and toes
id the chicken came before the egg ...then
where did the egg come from.
How much wood could a wood chuck really chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

Why do people say 'HEADS UP!!' when they really mean duck?
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Aprilia Pegaso 650

Wait, are these people fat? If so, they say it because that's the only place they go besides your store. If not, then I have no fucking idea since the phrase never even crossed my mind.

WHAT PISSES ME OFF! HA!

'stubborn taps her fingers and waits for the answers'

WELL ??? what pisses you off apart from skanks who take your heart and rip it into
little shreds..then spit it out all over the carpet..mashing your soul..leaving you with nowhere to go but to us..your freinds who love you to peices..

.... I never thought of it that way...:(

Harsh man! Very harsh!

i agree with u totally.
why do boys have it so easy?

why are men so complicated?

why is it good to take a spoonful of sugar to help the medicene go down?

k bye.

I think every hack comic of the early 90's would disagree.

! Men are complicated? What's so complicating about me? Oh no no no, Women are are complicated. All the ones I've dated anyways.

did I read that right?

~~>MEN<~~ are complicated?

The only way that women could find men complicated is because they have a tendancy to overthink their thought process. Men come up with simple, quick thoughts, and females tend to think over and over what a guy's possible thought process could be, thus confusing themselves.

men are not complicated......they are very simple creatuers.....who just so happen to make most women confused, because of all the sexual tension and what not.

MEN--like things simple.....they dont like too many questions....and most DONT enjoy deep thought. they like sports, beer, and boobs. (the typical man. some like poetry, wine, and quality time with loved ones.....but they're hard to find or gay)

MEN--are like puppies......as cute as they may be, you still have to take care of them......until they grow up and then......well i dont know....???

MEN--- use this complexity thing to the fullest. it, in a way, makes them sexier. and they know it. they know it drives women crazy when we cant figure out something about a guy and they dangle this over our heads constantly.

MEN--like a woman to play hard-to-get. it's their nature. they enjoi a good hunt. lol

I should write a book about the mystery of men. I'm like the dr. of love. i can get anyone the hook up with anyone. i rock!!

men are not complex. point blank.
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easy vape review

Not me... I aint workin' for it.

Me either.

Me: So, wanna go get some popcorn chicken?
Girl: *spouts some playing hard to get bullshit*
Me:...fuck you.

well obviously you haven't come across new zealand men..
they are none of the above..
the men over here are worse than woman..(no offence elvis)
As for the sports ,beer and booby thing..
I have found that each man has his own personality and tastes...and nah..they aren't gay..
From expericence I have found that alot of the men i dated prior to my marriage
were ..(second thoughts..nevermind).:rolleyes:

Re: Life's Unanswered Questions
 

Nothing. Other than the fact that the christians wanted to stamp out the pagan festival that took place on the date. SO they incorporated some of the older traditions into their new holiday.

okay okay....
AMERICAN MEN.

but, man what i would give for some hott piece of new zealand ass............woah buddy, let me tell you.............;)
.........*starts to get a little hott*.............i mean...... ah-choo!??:o
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Aprilia TX311M

I can't stand sports, beer tastes like shit, and I'm partial to certain other parts of the female anatomy.

How big is STE's organ, really???

The rabbit ..??
Well ..rumor has it that when they opened the tomb from whence jesus was supposed to be laying..
a rabbit came hopping out...
chocolate ...??
rumor has it that when the rabbit came hopping out of the tomb...the ppl who opened it ..shit themselves :D

I'm going to make a few changes. Now you can publish your book. lol






MEN--Some don't like sports, beer and I myself prefer other parts than boobs as The_STE said. And there are guys that like spending quality time with loved ones(like me), although I have yet to meet another one that would rather do that then spend time with his other male buddies.

MEN--I can't speak for all males, but some of us CAN take care of ourselves.

MEN--90% of The time hate it when women play "hard-to-get".