Cheating?
 

It seems that not all of us have the same definition of 'cheating' *cough* Bill Clinton *cough*....So, I wonder...What do you guys consider cheating and what do you think is just fine?....Is looking okay?...Flirting?...Maybe even a kiss?.......I don't feel right about even THINKING about someone else 'that way' when I'm in a relationship.....

Re: Cheating?
 

waaaaaaatch it.

lets not bring politics into this forum.

Re: Re: Cheating?
 

HAHA...We've been there, done that SOOO many times here...Had some real 'knock down, drag outs'....Horror even said that he was going to give us our own seperate 'Political Debates' forum.....Don't know what the hell ever happened to THAT :rolleyes:

i dont believe in cheating ..

and kissing is to me the most intimite act of all ...


but there is a huge difference between what some people say is flirting and how i define it.

to me flirting is showing interest and letting the other person know that the door of opportunity is wide open..

i dont consider telling someone that they are attractive .. or goofing around ('meet you at the motel at 7:00pm') is flirting ...

anyone i joke around with knows where i'm coming from.

it does piss me of fthough that people consider complimenting a woman on her appearance flirting ...

Wow...I had no idea that we thought so much alike on this one....

Hard to say. Besides the obvious stuff, of course

Re: Cheating?
 

I'm pretty much in the same boat as you. Except looking. Looking, I think, is okay.

I some what agree with Urge on this one. It's cheating to me if you actually fall in love with the person with whom you are talking to etc. Kissing is cheating, and of course having sex is cheating, but telling someone they are hot or even letting someone know your interested in them to me is not cheating


I could go on and on about this one, cuz I have been played in every relationship I have been in, so I am just going to shut my mouth and sit back and read what everyone else has to say

Re: Re: Cheating?
 

Well..That kinda depends for me...I mean there's looking, and thinking something like "that guy is attractive"....And then there's looking and thinking something like "Oh man!...I want some o' that!".....So, I actually think the 'thinking' part, plays a bigger role than it seems...

But...If you're already in a relationship, how could you possibly BE "interested" in someone else?

i think you could see the potential of what might have been ..

its if you allow yourself to get too wrapped up in it or not that is the problem.


i've met women that i thought were great and if i was single i would love to have a chance to get to know them .. but i wouldnt dwell on it .. it isnt a threat to my relationship ..

Back in November, when I was going out with my ex, there was this girl in my 2nd and 4th hours that I had started developing feelings for. But, given that I was already in a relationship, I ignored them. They were (and are) there, but I did nothing about them.

Would you consider that cheating?

Re: Re: Re: Cheating?
 

i think there is a huge number of guys that equate liking the looks of a girl with wanting to tap it.

I've always been content to enjoy the view.
Even the times between relationships i'd usually rather look ..
you can instinctually tell that some people are a lot more interesting to look at than to be with.

But...If you go so far as to 'let someone know' that you're interested in them...What would the point of that be?...If you have no intention of leaving the person you're with, you'd just be leading the other person on...And, I just think that if you really love someone, you CAN'T think of any other 'possibilities'...I think that telling someone you're interested in them would be getting 'wrapped up' in something that shouldn't...

no i wouldnt let them know ..

maybe interested is 2 different things for you and me ..
i'm not talking about sexual tension .. i'm talking more about friendship ... admiring someone for the person they are ...
not some growing desire to bed them ..

oh, yeah, telling someone you're interested wouldn't be right

I would take that as a sign that the person you were with, probably wasn't really the person you actually wanted to BE with....If you are in a relationship, and you feel yourself 'developing feelings' for someone else...That's probably a good time to face the fact that you aren't really in love with the person you are with, and that you may just be wasting your time...And theirs...

well, you apparenlty would've been right anyways.

I probably should've stayed out of this one, the only experience I can draw from isn't really a good example

didnt you see Dr Zhivago ? :D

And again...There is the difference in semantics....I view being interested in someone as being interested in a possible relationship with them...

I know what all of ya'll are saying and I agree to that, but I'm not talking about coming out to the person and saying "Hey I have feelings for you" blah blah. I'm saying.......well I guess I'm saying I think it's alright to flirt with someone. Just don't take it past that line and end up in a downward spiral of emotions for the both of them.

In your case STE, I would not consider that cheating at all. You didn't act on your feelings, so no harm was done.

You really should talk to this 'other' girl...


Actually...No...lol



I hate to admit it, but I really haven't watched very many movies that aren't horror related.....A few comedies, but otherwise, I'm pretty single-minded that way...

See previous post re: Shot Down

well, i'd have to explain for you to see where i'm coming from ..

I've never dated ..per say.

the thought of going somewhere with someone i dont know just because i liked the way they looked terrified me. I couldn't make it through a meal if the person turned out to be a ding-dong.

the girls i ended up with were friends at first .. i wanted to get to know then under more relaxed circumstances.

If she turned out to be someone i could actually enjoy talking with .. then it would naturely evolve into a relationship.

so if i'm in a relationship and i meet someone else and they have a lot of the qualities i like .. then naturally i would think the person is cool and i could recognize the potential ... but that would be the same or less than what i have now .. so there would be no need or desire to push on with it ...

and honestly - when i was in my 1st marriage and things were going horribly - i never had the desire to cheat then either ... although - believe it or not.. i was offered a wicked chance to.

Damn...

You're just a really good man ;)

i dont think thats it ... i just hate complications :D

lol...Or it could be that...

yeah, sucks, don't it? The Ring movies have an erie parallel to this kind of stuff happening.

The Ring: I mention that I'm going to see the Ring, and JUST before I ask if this girl I like wants to go, she mentions that she's going with her b/f (didn't know she had one) to homecoming

The Ring 2: Shot down right after we left.


There's a sign somewhere in there...

another saving grace is that i'm REALLY fucking fussy about who i want to spend time with.

you wouldnt think i could afford that luxury but i know the reality of being stuck with the wrong person and trying to get out of it...(just relationships - i'm not even talking about the failed marriage)


I'd rather be alone than be with someone i cant communicate with .. and the people i can communicate with at that intimite a level are few and far between.

you're going to save money on a ring.. (well, with them anyway)

Whoa...That makes me wonder what would happen if you invited a girl over to watch Ringu with you...Hmm...Maybe you'd better not...heh

But...Being with someone you can't communicate with is the same as being alone...only with irritation....I, personally, would rather do without the irritation...

I would have trouble explaining my definition of cheating. It would sound like a "cheaters" definition I guess, even though I'm not really that way anyway.

Maybe Ringu would only have an effect if she were asian...and the STE does like him some asian girls...

If it's something that you'd be pissed about, it's cheating.

If I saw my girl making out with some dude, I'd be pissed and consider it cheating, therefore if I were to do the same thing with a different girl, it would be cheating.

Just make sure your parameters are celarly defined. Maybe your girl wouldnt care if you kissed another girl, but you would hit the ceiling if she kissed another guy. Those kind of things are good to figure out when starting a relationship.

It's all about trust. If you are sneaking around doing stuff with someone of the opposite sex that is not your significant other and you have no intention to let your significant other know about it, I'd call it cheating.

pretty good rule of thumb .. but your significant other would have to agree eye to eye on it.


also... i'd pay good money to have my wife kiss another girl.
it ain't happening.

eatin aint cheatin'

i've been waiting all this time for someone to say that