Weird Phone Messages
 

Have any of you guys ever gotten any strange messages on your answering machine?....

I just got one from one of my ex's friends...He said to tell him (my ex) to let him (this guy) know if he still wants the alligator?....Yes...ALLIGATOR...WTF???!!!...I wish there was some way to record this message and post it here for you guys to hear it....CRAZY!!!!

this isnt a phone message - but its weird ...


a few years ago a phone in the back of the server room started to ring ... it was a modem line that i didnt even know had a phone attached.

it was a prison guy in kingston wanting to know if we were all set for the prison transfer ...


man i could have had some fun with that one.


more to your topic - since we moved we get about 1 wrong message a day for the same people ... dr appointments .. everything that people should know by now unless they dropped right off of the planet.

and there was an ad for a moving company once that i thought was a joke because it sounded like a jerky boys skit (really exaggerated indian accent)

Oh damn...That coulda been a real riot...lol



Hey...I wonder why Crank Yankers never calls anyone we know...

my friend had his sister call me on Thanksgiving when we were in the living room and the message came on and she said "hey mike i had a great time last night can't wait to meet up again and do it later" and some more stuff like that

I once got a message from some college girl telling me to meet me at the Union and calling me a bitch?

I was like 14...idk.

I had someone call me once asking me to take a survey about donating plasma, and in the middle of it he just made a farting sound for like, 30 seconds before I hung up.

Dunno why I listened for that 30 seconds though...

you were waiting for the loud spash that was inevitable.

My friend Mark called his dad and yelled "HEEB!" into the phone...it was pretty fucking funny

Well...I used to work as a phone jockey in market research....I know this aint what you're talking about, but I heard some funny answering machine/voicemail messages.

I heard one in a really "mee ruv u wong time" kinda asian accent,
it said:
"Liza beeeesy, preeez hold on" again and again....eh, made me laugh at the time...we had this thing at work where we would put the funny ones on speakerphone, but we couldn't do it for long before we were located by the supervisor.

Another one, was what musta been a hooker, OR a joke...a chick saying their address, and a few of the things she would do...I won't go into it, but needless to say, the speakerphone thang was some real fun.

Then there was one with a guy with the hawking style robot voice, always funny...the worst was when one o these guys actually agreed to do a survey with ya...I might just be an asshole here, but, I could barely keep from laughing whenever this happened.

Last one, this real redneck-y "croc hunter" sounding guy
(I live in australia) sounded all drunk n shit, said something like...

"hey, this is maaaaarty...Im not 'ere, ay? So leave us a message if ya would, 'cos I farkin' hate it when ya don't, and if ya don't and I find out tha cunt that dun' it was you, I'll faarkin' smash ya"

- Yep, for real....some people here ACTUALLY sound like that, but please bear in mind, despite out crummy television portrayals, these kinds of people are few and far between....

For soem reason, a ton of people keep calling my school classroom asking for a sub from subway. Now only if I were to answer the phone, I'd have a ton of fun. And usually at my house, we got caslls for Doctor's appointments. One time I answered it and set up a meeting in the middle of the nite, like around 2:30 a.m. But my parents don't know about that. I also love to fuckin' freak out telemarketers. It's so f'n fun.:p

I got a phone call left on my Awnsering machine. I didnt know how to leave a message thing so it just beeps. So I came home from work and saw the light flashing on the machine right, so i put my keys in my pocket and hit the "play" button. the message was this.

Sobbing girl, sounded around mid-twenties.
"Mom, John had found out today that he has AIDs. My appointment is tomorrow and Im pretty sure that I have it too."
Starts to cry and hangs up.

I was left sitting there going "O....................K" and then I made hambugars.

I get all kinds of wierdos calling my place. Several different people have called for "Laura" and one got very hostile when I tried to tell him that there wasn't anyone there by that name, said he knew she was there and he was coming over to get her, etc. etc. I get a lot of hang-ups calls, too. Makes me wonder who lived here before me.

I'm suprised that with so many cell phones we don't get more wrong messages than we actually get.

Who ever had my current house phone number has the last name of Gurrerro, their kid skips school, they don't pay their bills--or give anyone their current phone#.

When I lived in the country my phone# was the same--except for the area code--as an oil drilling operation.

Death messages, wife left, etc.

Several times I felt like I needed to call their number and relay the message.

"hi, is this Bob ? you dont know me but apparently your wife has left you, cleaned out the account, and her new boyfriend is going to kill you .... - have a good one ! bye !"

well, my old house keeper used to do hilarious ones.

poepl called her and tried to sell her stuff, and she gave 'em shit about it, and it was hilarious! examples:

1. Seller: Hello would you like to subscribe to our magazine?

House Keeper: Im Blind!!!

Seller: oh my god I am so sorry *Hangs up*

2. Seller: Hello, your mother needs to renew her subscription to her Martha Stewart Magazine in order to keep getting them.

House Keeper: She...She....passed away last week!!! *Fake sobs*

Seller: Im sorry to hear that.....would you like to continue the subscription on your own account?

House Keeper: *Click!*

Another one I've used on telephone solicitors who ask for my wife--That Bitch! she was arrested for prostitution last night.

Of course my favorite to use on telephone solicitors after I've repeatedly said NO is--Which letter confuses you--the N or the O.

They hang up at this point.

i say 'one second' and hand the phone to my 4 year old kid.

HaHaHa...That's a GREAT idea........Hmm...Now where can I get a 4 year-old?


:D

for telemarketers wanting to sell you phone-whatever: say you don't have a phone

My mother does that one...lol

take an egg, throw in a sperm, bake for 9 months and let sit for 4 years.

or in your case .. whatever time is left :D

actually the absolute best thing to do is simply say, 'can you hold on one sec' set the phone down, and walk away.

last time i suggested that someone got mad at me here .. cant remember who.

haha...I still got about 6 months and 3 weeks....

If I left the phone off the hook here, my daughter would kill me...She'd be afraid she'd miss a call from Shane :rolleyes:

My favourite thing to piss off telemarketers is lifted shamelessly from Seinfeld:

Telemarketer: Would you be interested in *whatever they're selling*?

Me: Yes! *hangs up*