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Need to talk..............
I don't know how many of you know I am Bi-Poler. When I am Manic I am Over the top with happyness. When I am Depressed it is almost unbearable. Right now It's the Depression. I cry over Songs, movies and just about everyother thing you can think of!! It sucks!! Last night I tryed listening to what I call Fuck you songs. Like AC/DC !! It's almost imposable to cry While listening to that but that only helps till i turn it off! I am alot better than I use to be. I use to be what they call a cuter. I haven't done that in 8 yrs. I didn't even know why I did it . I later found out it was a cry for help. now I just talk to people. I just needed to unload. Dose anyone else have Bi-poler??
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people think i have it cuz im so weird or whatever but no, i can control my shit for the most part.
anyway, glad u dont cut anymore 8 years is a long time! anyway i think its just the way it is.. like some people r so scared to be sad but its just something u gotta do r u on medz or anything?? |
Yep Yep.....Count me in.......I also used to be a cutter for a while.....Haven't done that in 8 years also coincidentally.....
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how is that going? r there any side effects??
there is a book out called' overdose' (i think) its about meds like that and says u can cut em like in 1/3 or even 1/2 and itll work but without all the grogginess or whatever well time to go shopping. hope u feel better. put on some music and scream adn dance and do crazy things!! |
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I was on Zoloft for a while.....Never did me any good......oh and on a side note, don't snort it! :D |
I was on Oxycontin, they can't be cut cause of the time release stuff. The funny thing was, when i was taking them i was in a good mood, and pain free. Not high. but it makes me think, is there something deeper that i'm just passing off as having a fucked up life?
Thank god they have meds now, not like back in the day. |
sorry folks .. i am very evenly keeled.
It takes a lot to push me over the edge ... not to say i dont have a couple of hot buttons but i can control those too. I tend to internalize but sports helps dissipate that. what on earth promps the 'cutting' ??? that makes my skin crawl. |
I've always wondered though.......Back in the day, no one was on Anti-Depressants.....Now it seems that everyone and their brother takes them......Is it that we need them or we need them because they're available?
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As for the cutting, mine consisted of words such as Anti-Me on my forearm and shit like that........In a way I guess I was looking for help, but at the same time, I would've turned down any help anyone would have offered me......I told myself I was doing it to be "different" and to freak people out, but all in all, that was bullshit...... BTW, I've never spoken aloud about any of this stuff, so you guys better feel special! :D |
Interesting, I used to take Zoloft for insomnia. Who knows, that's what my doc prescribed. But ever since my Dad passed away I haven't needed anything to help me sleep.
I wish I could say I know what you're going through, but I don't. I used to work for a woman who is bi-polar and you could definitely tell when she didn't take her meds. I became the whipping post! My niece was cutting for a while, but I think she's stopped (she lives in Missouri so I don't really know what's going on with her). I wish you all the luck in the world!! I'll say a prayer to the Goddess Demeter for you. |
Most cuters try to hide it. I however didn't. It's wierd I hate pain. I am not one to hurt others Just myself. When I was 17 I had alot of suicide attempts The last time they held me down and pumped my stomac. God did that suck. I never OD'ED Again!! People with bi-poler Tend to Abuse Drugs. Mine was Pain Pills. Still trying to kick that habit. I'm alot better But I have had some Relapses.
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Ahhhh....Drug Abuse......I knew thee well......
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Ugh..I think there may be too many drugs out there....
Wanna sleep?...Take this pill Wanna stay awake?...Take this pill Too happy?...Take this pill Too sad?...Take this pill Too hyper?...Take this pill Too lethargic?...Take this pill Can't think?...Take this pill Don't WANNA think?...Take this pill I don't want to get started on my anti-psychotropic drug rant (ESPECIALLY concerning children)...So, I'll just stop here...But, seriously...I think it's WAY overdone... Personally...I'll never take ANY of that garbage......I guess that I just LIKE being 'fucked up':D :p If it helps you guys though...More power to ya...I guess I just can't understand the need for all of it |
I agree BR...They hand out pills like candy.......That's why I don't take them anymore......haven't for years......I was used as a test subject for Ritalin........They kept me on it for over 10 years.....After they figured out I was essentially a junkie because of it, They took me off of it........Now they'll only treat with Ritalin for a maximum of 2 years......I don't really trust dr's anymore....
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why the fuck is it called bi-polar??? ...sounds like some lesbian bear
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hey thats rather like me. |
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what name do you give it?
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and the only cure is at the bottom of a glass:D |
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or the worm at the bottom of the bottle :) |
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with cutting, at least the idea is, physical pain is much more bearable that the inner pain. cut urself u can say 'this hurts becuz my arm is bleeding' put some ointment on it, feel better. takes ur mind off it, ya know?
kinda like how for some nervous type people, will wear an elastic (rubberband or something) on their hand and snap it to get them to stop thinking whatever nervous thoughts they r thinking. kind of like a 'wake up' as for pills. at least from what ive learned, if ur 'sickness' is cutting into ur normal life, and u try and try and u cant fix it. then take it. as for me, there was a time where maybve i thought of takin shit, but i never had a problem with school, with driving, etc. as sad as i ever got, my grades were always up. now of course theres some people who will go into complete depression and not do ANYTHING.. so yeh, at least in my experience, ive never had pills thrown at me. but then again, i was never really that off got some stories but im too lazy to type but ill do it sometime. some pill type stuff |
My dad is bipolar and an alcoholic...refused to take his meds... He was always attempting suicide, making threats, bleh. Of course I haven't seen him for years. He got a girlfriend who hated me. When I mean hated, I mean she despised me. Made him choose between the two of us and he chose her thinking I would stick around anyway. I left of course >.>;;. I was diagnosed with manic depression myself. I take Celexa for it. Used to take Zoloft but it gave me weird nightmares. I never cut that much but I did become anorexic. Got put in a rehab like hospital because I was 'suicidal' and weighed around 80lbs. Much better now though ^-^.
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Feel for you AMK, I spent the better part of my teenage life in a drug and alcohol induced nitemare. Brought about by my father abandoning me as a child and the fact that my mother found her career and social life more important than raising her children.
By my mid twenties I realized that I was killing myself and was damn lucky I didnt end up dead or in prison. Am now clean and sober, my body, my temple type thing. I never did any cutting or anything like that, but I did get alot of tattoos, that always made me feel better. I try and get a new one every year or so, just to remind myself of the pain that I dont feel anymore. |
i've been a mental health counselor for about 20 years. i've seen everything. manic/depression is really really common. and probably the easiest illness to treat with meds.
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Damn.......I'm just thankful I get by without any medication.
*where the hell did I leave my beer* |
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that's the process. i work with lots of schizophrenics. they are really tough to work with. especially the ones who hear voices and answer them.
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