You being an immortal and bored, my suggestion would be to go on a killing spree.

Dear IA..
i chopped my feet off like you suggested..
and i must say..they look perfect now..
however , my next problem being..
I can't get my shoes to fit my stumps..not to mention the..colour does not go with anything i wear.

What...blood red dont go with anything?? hahah


Dear IA...,

I have a music addiction. Everywhere I got I gotta listen to music, even when I piss. How do I slow the music factor down and not drive myself insane?

oooh..
i wear my discman when em driving..
when em in the toilet
when em cooking
when em in bed
and have been told em unsociable for doing so..
so em dying to read IA's reply on this..

There are many options. Washcloths and small drapes can be wrapped around your stumps to make them flashier, snappier.

I guarantee you'll be the sexiest cripple the city appointed assistants have ever seen.

I suggest making a chart, designating certain parts of the day where you can listen to music. Have friends and loved ones monitor you closely to make sure you follow the chart. Start slow, giving yourself the majority of the day to listen to music. As the days go by take out more and more hours until you have around 1 to 2 hours a day for enjoying music.

This way you'll be dull and boring, just like everyone else.

Dear IA;

(For once this is a serious one)

I think my dog is pregnant..........I'm not sure which of the two previously unseen dogs may be the father. This could get ugly (talkin bout the possible puppies) The vet says it may be hormones, or she may be preggo. What should I do?

My advice is to wait and see, but go ahead and plan for puppies. If she's not pregnant, you can be frustrated for making precautions for nothing. If she is, you'll be happy that you did.

Arrange your house or apartment so that it's "potty and chewing safe". Isolate a room (preferably hard-wood with newspaper covering) for the puppies to be in, one without valuables.

If you don't want the puppies, put up fliers in advance. Call friends and family and ask if they would want a puppy given the chance coming up. Better safe than sorry.

Yeah, I've raises puppies before. was just wondering what sorta advice you'd give, and if it'd be serious or not.

Dear IA,

I got my dick stuck in a pencil sharpener. What should I do? (this is not a serious question).